See I don’t really like having 'paypigs/piggies’ it insinuates that they are lazy trough dwelling pork scratchings. No I would rather have ‘paypuppies’ Far more impressive, adoring, excitable, eager and ridiculously loyal.  When I leave you to go about my day, you will sit and pine waiting for me, fighting the frustrating compulsion to lick me and mount my legs, and why wouldn’t you? That's how I like it. It’s a painful burden I will never have to bear because I am with me all day long. So...