The True Submissive

So I have spoken in the past about what I feel findom is all about, but today I would like to share my visions of the perfect submissive and what TRUE submission means to me.

Firstly I get a LOT of messages from “subs” wanting to be “owned”. It is plain as day that these guys are not true submissives, but horny porn addicts who want to be dominated for ten minutes until they have cum. You can tell what these guys are about straight away as they will immediately start talking about what THEY want. Submission is about giving in to what the domme wants, and starting a conversation with “I am looking for…” makes me raise my eyebrows very quickly.



Something else that draws attention to insta-subs (there is apparently derogatory term for findoms who are not well-read in the BDSM scene so lets switch it around!) is that they usually fail to read your profile information before making contact. If one cannot take the time to find out as much about the person they claim they want to serve, that does not stand them in good stead for a D/S relationship going forward does it?

One of the things that really rubs me up the wrong way is when a sub messages me and starts with asking to be my slave… Most of you will know there is a difference between a sub and a slave. For those of you who don’t, the quick version is that a sub is a submissive who is unowned but serves one or multiple dommes. A slave is an owned sub who serves only one domme and is not free to serve any other (this is usually binding by some sort of contract). I do not know ANY domme who would take on a slave at the first point of contact. Being a slave is an honor, like a promotion from sub to slave. One must prove themselves a worthy, useful and loyal sub before being under consideration. A sub who straight out asks to be a slave is clearly uneducated in the findom scene and usually a timewaster. Don’t get me wrong – everyone has to start somewhere, but reading up on the fetish is probably the best way to start, not jumping in head first and making a bad reputation for yourself.

A true submissive is submissive before, during and after a sexual encounter with their domme. It is not a “one minute wonder” type of experience for them and they are able to see the emotional and mental benefits of submission and not just the physical and sexual aspects of it.

This is why I ask for tribute at the point of contact. Apart from weeding out time wasters, a true sub will show himself to be genuine if he is able to make financial sacrifice immediately and without question. This shows he is not only serious but is willing to put my needs before his own.

By no means take what I say as fact, this is just my brutally honest opinion and you do not have to agree with it.