"Humiliate me!" he whined

Are you ready for yet another one of my cross posts from www.paymepiggy.com? Today a little recount of what happens when I am feeling contrary and a little slugmuffin doesn't know how to make his desires known to a Mistress. I hope you enjoy the recount and may I suggest you don't drink while reading. :p

Humiliate me he whined
The laughing Findomme strikes again!

Oh you just have to chuckle at a boy who comes to you on a mission. Only in some cases it seems to be more "Mission Impossible" especially if I am in one of those contrary moods.

I swear to you all, that boy had one of those really annoying whiny voices! You know the kind right? You want to put earplugs into your ears, stick him in a closet somewhere, and forget he exists.

Not only was his voice grating on my nerves in 5 seconds flat but instead of even attempting to endear himself to me in some way, the first sentence that came out of his mouth was "Humiliate me!"

That's it. No greeting for Goddess. No introduction. Nothing to go on and not even a hint of manners or submission.

WELL NOW... I thought to myself in my normal two can play the "stupid game" here attitude, and decided to amuse myself rather then let him get off on his favorite fix. Not saying it wasn't humiliating to him in the end, but I am sure it wasn't what he had in mind. (Can you hear the tiny violin playing his sob song in the background? I can! Mean old Goddess won't let him have his candy!)

My ever so polite response was: "I am sorry I just want to clarify that I heard you correctly. You demanded that I would humiliate you? Is that correct?" Kerching there goes another $2.59 as he is paying me by the minute and obviously was about to waste the money his Mommy had given him for Charm School.

"Yes, I want you to humiliate me!" (Pregnant pause on his end and I am sure a poised for masturbation hand on his doubtlessly exited by his own brilliance cock!)

"That's nice Dear! (I said in my best old time School Teacher Voice. You know the one reserved for particularly dense Students which drips with patience and sarcasm!) Now what would you like me to humiliate you about? After all there are so many choices to pick from! (I declared like a Game Show Hostess now poised in front of Curtains 1, 2 or 3)

"You know, just humiliate me!" he said his voice now not only whiny but getting slightly irritated as I am actually expecting him to have a thought and share it! I could see his wiener shriveling up already!

"Ok, but I still don't know what there is to humiliate you about? You see all I know right now is that you are pathetically trying to get me to humiliate you for goodness knows what while paying me the sum of $2.59 a minute. By the way, thank you dear, so far your inability to express yourself better has enriched me by $7.77 so far! Well done, I can now go out and buy a Gallon of milk and a loaf of bread thanks to your lack of "spitting it outness!"

Now apparently that gave him pause and he wasn't sure if that was humiliating him or just down right insulting him, but regardless the time kept ticking on and I kept hearing the wonderful sounds of coins dropping into the slot. He may also have tried to figure out if "spitting it outness" was a legit phrase, but sadly he didn't ask me about that. I must admit I had hoped he would.

I am on the other end of this particular call trying really hard not to laugh and am waiting for his next witty comment. When after about a minute of total silence there was still nothing forthcoming on his end and I didn't want to be responsible for his impending mental overexertion, I decided to give him some options. Yes, I know how very kind of me. :P

"Ok I see you are having problems reading the menu dear. Must be due to your chronic masturbation issues you are having. You are a self-stimulation expert, are you not?" I said in my most professional voice and waited to see if he'd figure out that I was referring to the myth of constant masturbation making you blind!

"Yes I am a pathetic loser who jerks off constantly!" he declared with a measure of satisfied joy in his voice as he finally felt he was getting on the right track and was now eagerly providing his own humiliation. I am sure there wear tears pf joy being wept all over the world at the discovery of his continued exercising of the wrists!

"Ah how nice darling! I command you! It's so thoughtful of you to take matters into your own hands so to speak and not impose on the gentle (coughs here) care of a woman. I am sure you are so much better at handling that gherkin awaiting to be pickled!" I declared in a voice that could only be described as Southern Charming! You know the ones where apparent praises and sweetness are really a veiled insult and you can't decide if you should feel insulted or loved on?

Out of all of that however he apparently only caught the "gherkin awaiting to be pickled" comment. Which had him confused since apparently he didn't realize that in order to pickle something you have to stick it in a jar.

With great determination and still no clue that he is indeed being humiliated by me here in a very intellectual way and slowly emptying the "jerk off jar" where he probably had to save up for a year in order to afford making a call to a woman who clearly isn't impressed by him, he responded with yet another overwhelming morsel of delicious numbskullery. (Side Note: Yes I just called him a candidate for "I am too damn broke mentally and financially to afford having a woman take notice of me otherwise!")

"What you mean by that? I wanted to be humiliated..."

Now this is where I am interrupting him because I really have to pee and even fucking with a lame brain like him is only amusing so long.

"Darling it means that you are cruising for a penectomy. You know ''snip snip"? Let's face it with a tiny member like yours it's only a mercy to remove it. I am fearful of the damage you are doing to your hands! That brings up the question have you had blisters on your palm recently and when was the last time you actually got within spitting distance of a live pussy?"

He actually "huffed" at me at that point and was insulted by my indicating that he couldn't get a girl! He pointedly declared to me that he was a good lucking chap and that he could get women any time he wanted.

At which point I couldn't help myself any longer and busted out in a fully belly shaking laugh. Hell I laughed so hard my RV was rocking!

Reigning my mirth in somewhat because you know .... laughing so hard can make you pee yourself and I was trying to avoid making a mess here... I finally said in my best Sunday School Voice... "Of course you can dear!" Which translation for those of you who are not familiar with my brand of speech means... "Oh my God you are so full of shit you need an Enema now!"

Just then I hear the "You have one minute left!" announcement on the phone and I figured it was time to put the poor boy out of his misery.

"Well it sounds like our time is coming to an end pet. I hope you enjoyed your humiliation session today!" I said in a pleasant sing song voice.

"But I didn't get humiliated..." he whined at me

"Oh darling but you did, you are just not smart enough to realize it yet. Give it an hour or two and it'll click in! Bye, bye now!"

Click!

True to form about 2 hours later I get an email from whiny pants and all it said was... .. OMG you are so mean and humiliating. I"ll call you again sometime!

I was even kind enough to reply. "Glad you finally figured all the big words out! Oh and remember, give that dick of yours a break once in a while before you get blisters on your hands. All those women you were bragging about might otherwise wonder what you have been up to while staring in consternation and dismay at your limp little dick!

Well I hope you enjoyed this little rendition of ... be careful what you ask for!

Goddess Bella Donna

P.S. Don't forget to check my various blogs from time to time so see what's on my mind! Of course while you are there boys it would be a good idea to make yourself useful.