5 minutes and a Lifetime

While sitting in the Chatroom this evening a notion to write this post came into my mind. If this post will make sense to you remains to be seen. To be very honest I am not sure why this post wants to be written by me, today and right now, but it is glamoring for it. So here goes nothing.

It takes only 5 minutes for the average human being to form an opinion about someone and to make a decision if that person is someone you'll enjoy talking to or not. It's a snap decision that is purely on gut instinct by witnessing the behavior of that person. You do it without even realizing it is happening. You may not even really know why you take a dislike to someone you don't even know, or why you are drawn to another. All you know is that after those roughly 5 minutes are up it will become rather difficult for you not to see that person from then on outside of the opinion you have formed. Everything that person says or does from that moment on will be colored by those first 5 minutes and the decision that was made. Again you probably don't even know it, but if you have taken a dislike to that person it won't really matter how good they showcase them-selves after, you will have a hard time seeing it.

5 minutes... such a short time really, but that 5 minutes have cost both Ladies and boys untold opportunities to make a connection. That is not all that often happens within 5 minutes.

Sometimes it only takes 5 minutes to completely destroy a good reputation you have worked years to build. 5 minutes of acting like a completely untrustworthy individual, 5 minutes of acting like someone who should never be given another chance. 5 minutes of showing the world that you are unable to take responsibility for a deed that you did and which was not in the least respectable. 5 tiny little minutes .... a blink of the eye in the big scheme of things.

It makes no difference who you are or who you think you are, we all get those same 5 minutes. What we make of them is up to us. Today I witnessed twice 5 minutes very ill spend and now I will never be able to unsee those. Is it fair? No, I didn't say there was anything fair about it, but it is a fact. 5 minutes was all it took.

Why am I telling you this? Because I want you to remember that when you are in a place where people watch even if they don't appear to be watching every minute you are in the public eye is one of those 5 minutes for you. When you make first contact with someone, it's those same 5 minutes again.

I had a boy approach Me on Skype today who is from this site. The 2nd one in two days who managed within those 5 minutes to leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. Now when I see his name in the sidebar of chat I will instantly feel cold towards him. I will instantly see him as someone who is setting out to waste the time of Ladies. I will see him as someone who has no place in the world of submission. Does that mean he won't do better with someone else? Not at all. Someone else may have a different experience with him (them), but for Me those 5 minutes showed Me his nature and I was not impressed. Both found them-selves blocked by Me. There will not be any other chances given.

5 minutes...

On the flipside of that is a Lifetime and that is how long it will take for you to truly get to know someone. I always hear folks on both sides talk about wanting to get to know someone first before tributing even comes into play. I always chuckle to myself when I hear that and silently say to myself. ... "So you are expecting to give free attention and time for the rest of your life or expect it given to you?"

Getting to know someone takes a very long time. People change, evolve and most people in any type of Relationship won't lose the "best foot foreward" until they have been in a relationship for at lest 4 months. It isn't until than that the rose colored glasses start cracking and we see the less fun traits emerging. Go a year into it and now you don't just see the slight cracks but the first potholes.

The longer we know someone the more comfortable they get around us and the more the masks start slipping. I've been with my life partner for 16 years now and trust me it took 15 of those years for me to see him fully for who he truly is. There isn't a single ward that I don't know and it wasn't until then that I really understood what the rest of our life together would look like.

A lifetime ..... most of us won't be in a relationship for that long. The majority of couplings don't last longer than 5 to 7 years these days. In the fetish communities we may see them lasting 2 to 4 years if that long. A huge majority doesn't make it past the first 4 months.

Am I being cynical? No, I am being extremely blunt with you. Sometimes I feel that there are entirely too many rose colored glasses on and that is why there are so many disappointments in the communities and relationships.

Newness wears off. It's par for the course. It's when the mundane sets in that you are truly being tested. When it's no longer new and exciting and you no longer get aroused just because she breathes at you, that true devotion either comes to the front or shows itself for what it was...lust.

Before you can get to the Lifetime of getting to know someone and hopefully make it for years to come, you have to get past those first 5 minutes so. Keep that in mind when you act the fool the wrong way. You can be silly and funny and goof around. That's not the type of fool I am talking about. I think you know that so.

Well as I said at the beginning I have no idea why I felt led to write this today. Why this post pushed at my heart and mind, but when it does that strongly then I know it's a message someone desperately needs before they screw their 5 minutes up or don't understand why they no longer get anywhere.

Blessed Summer Solstice
Goddess Bella Donna