Ghosting & Returning

When a sub "ghosts" you, how do you handle it? First, ask yourself a few questions. This can help.

*How many times did he tribute?

- If it was a one-off tribute and he disappeared.  You did not own him. There are fly-by subs. They give and run away like scared rabbits. I suggest allowing a second tribute. Could lead to more as the frightened bunny gets braver. Do not spend too much effort on these subs. Let them come to you.

-He was around longer and made promises, then poof vanished. He should fulfill the promises and then some extra groveling tributes. If he manages to please you, like the scared bunny, it could lead to more.

-He was under-consideration or owned. Suddenly gone, no word, vanished. Let him grovel, let him send, let him explain in a proper letter. Do not give him any of your time. If he had a valid reason, then treat him as a new sub that has to rebuild the trust he had before. No valid reason equals not worth it.

-He was owned and vanished without a word the second time. Block his sorry ass. He is dead to you. 

*Before he vanished, had you changed how you treated him?  No matter what anyone says, this is a relationship and both parties have their needs or desires. They may have instinctively left to give you time to get sorted. You might have needed space and the sub gave it to you. 

*Are you sure he vanished without telling you? Many subs are uncomfortable with conflict. He may have given hints. Think back to past correspondence and chats. He may now be capable of committing.

*Did you enjoy their service? If not, no. If so, maybe.

*Can you forgive them for leaving? Yes, great, but never forget. No, then off they go.

Everyone will have other criteria. Just figure out what works for you. Good luck ladies.

Subs, words of wisdom, leave a goodbye note. Circumstances change and you might wish to return. Be ready to grovel and tributes ready.