Disability and Domination

It's been a while since my last blog, so it's about that time again. I know this is a little bit of a different sort of blog entry for this site, but hear me out!

This is a topic that I don't really speak much about, but I figure now is the perfect time. It's May, which is Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome awareness month - and, somewhat poetically, also my birthday month (May 31st). For those of you who don't know, EDS is a collection of genetic disorders that affect connective tissue. This leads to things like frequent dislocations, chronic pain and fatigue, and a host of other medical issues that are all around annoying to deal with. I was diagnosed with it several years ago, after a long process of doctor visits and tests spanning several years.

Before you start typing out your sympathies, let me make it clear: I'm not asking for pity. That's not what this blog is about. I never want anyone's pity, and I don't play up my medical problems to try and get attention or money. It's just a part of who I am, and as such, it's a part of my domination style.

I think it's important to acknowledge how many people in the pro Domme scene are dealing with some sort of disability. Many choose not to speak about it for reasons like mine, or because there's a stigma that makes you seem "weak" to be disabled. Let's smash that idea, shall we?

I'm a strong, powerful, intelligent, creative Woman, and my genetics don't change that. I need to make special considerations for my fun: I can't hop onto cam whenever I feel like it and jump into a session. I can't always be sure when I'm going to be on top of my game and when I'm going to need some recharging time with a nice, hot shower and a glass of wine. I have limitations that able-bodied Dommes may not have to deal with, but those challenges don't make me any less of a Domme, or any less of a person worthy of the respect I know I deserve.

A large part of the reason for my hiatus from findom and sex work in general had to do with complications from my illness. It's the reality of things sometimes. Fortunately, I'm lucky enough to know some wonderful subs who are willing to wait for me, and those are exactly the kinds of subs I'm seeking. I don't need to be pitied or taken care of or treated like I'm better/worse than other Dommes; I just have a different set of needs that requires a certain kind of submissive.

Is it challenging to work and make a living with my limitations? Of course. But do I knock it out of the fucking park? You bet your ass. That's what makes me the Domme I am today: the struggles, overcoming them, and showing the world that nothing that tries to hold me back will ever succeed.

For any other Dommes out there who also have to deal with any sort of mental or physical health condition, know you have my empathy, and that you're worthy of admiration. Let's work together to get rid of this stigma and let our disabled Dommes stand proud alongside our able-bodied sisters.