20 Days of Chastity: Slave Reflections

Here's another guest blog from a slave I've been keeping in chastity for 10-30 days at a time. Let's check in on his mental thought process and see how he's doing shall we?



xox
Harley
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Twenty days ago Mistress Harley locked my dick back in chastity after allowing me a release. I thought the second session would be easier than the first after all having experienced that first session not knowing when or if Mistress Harley would be please enough with my efforts to get me release I knew making it to my next release should be easier.

The odd thing is this was my fantasy not something Mistress Harley coerce me into doing but something I have wished for but was a bit afraid to ask for. The past 20 days had been going smoothly I had started to learn a few new things to become more useful to Mistress Harley and aside from some slight discomfort at times the device was wearing well. Until Mistress Harley rewarded me with an hour out of the device (Holy Trainer 2) I had largely stopped thinking about release and jerking off. The submissive feelings and parts of me had got a good hold and the chastity device just fed into the submissiveness. There is even part of me which wishes just to be out of the device for a few days even if I am denied the chance to cum but then I spent that hour jerking off to Mistress Harley clips and so many of those thoughts were replaced by just one thought I really want to cum I need to cum. Mistress Harley assigned me this essay and will decide my fate after I finish it so I guess it would be the wise thing to do to keep somethings to myself but that just doesn’t seem right. There is a small but powerful part of me that almost wants to be denied just to feel the control of Mistress Harley. This seems strange because either way it is Mistress Harley in control deciding cum or denial. It seems to me that finally there is a use for my small penis to give control to Mistress Harley to be the ultimate instrument of my submission. I cannot quite figure out if tonite represents a large step backwards or a giant step forward in my submission to Mistress Harley as honestly thought I thought I had the emotions around being in chastity under control and they have jumped back up. Fears and worries the same old silly things like will this damage me physically long term and can I handle it psychologically. Last time I called Mistress Harley we spoke of the possibility of traveling to see her to celebrate being Her slave for one year. Mistress Harley mentioned me being my chastity just matter of factly and at the time it kind of excited me but I think tonite it scares me a bit. Thoughts like will I even want out of the cage at that point any more?

Having spent the last 20 days locked up, I thought my submissive side had won such a decisive victory in my personality the war was over but tonite there is a bit of doubt in my head. Doubt about long term chastity and long term submission, which is the complete opposite of what I thought these last 20 days had meant yesterday. Without any question this second session in chastity were rather easy for 19 days and then today came the challenge. I leave my fate Mistress Harley’s whim which is where it always was.