Where do I start...

It’s always astounding to Me when mén find findom a bizarre or even offensive concept. It seems so obvious, the correlation between humble generosity, and admiration/appreciation. These vanilla guys are very accustomed to the idea of earning the attention of a Woman by not only treating Her, but being financially secure and ready to make a Her life easier or better in some way. They know that however handsome, charming, or trustworthy they are, a woman needs to know she's not taking a risk when investing herself in him.
They are also totally familiar with the old trope of the loser or old dude who has a hot Woman with him because he’s rich and spends it on her. This isn’t just cliché; it’s a kind of underdog heroism and a mythologized beacon of hope for guys who have had less luck with Women and more luck with capitalism.

So why is it that mén are taken back when a Woman says what She wants, or accepts it without feeling guilty or indebted? And why do so many people view financial subs as inherent victims, or the usual, “people who need help.” Sure, any vice can be abused, but for the most part, I think serving a Domme and accepting her guidance is sometimes all a sub needs.

I know this is kinda wild, and I may be ‘preaching to the choir,’ but I feel like the public’s view of sex work (especially findom, gfe/elite escorts, and other sw of topical intrigue) is going in the direction cannabis has been over the past years. I’m from DC, and I actively worked on the campaign that got Initiative 71 passed, which legalized cannabis in the district. Even playing a small role, it’s risky to affiliate with and advocate for a controversial and historically criminal agenda. (DC is America’s latchkey kid; we don’t have Congresspeople, so they let us do other shit hoping we’ll forget about the whole “taxation without representation” thing.)

Anyway, It’s getting to the point where people who aren’t involved in adult industries are actually acknowledging that most dangerous part about it is its criminalization. Now that everyone knows it's not just lazy hippies and thugs using cannabis (it’s also grandmas, veterans, folks with seizures), its decriminalization has and made use and production safer (both health and risk wise) for everyone involved.

With that analogy, I’m mean that people used to think of sex work (did they even call it that?) as “street hookers and strippers,” and now it’s recognized as being a whole lot of different things, and that it’s not just unemployable desperate chicks and junkies, it’s also mothers and Ph.D. candidates and taxpayers, and plain ass regular people doing adult work of various sorts, let alone all the people who just lead the sorts of relationships and so-called ‘fetish’ lifestyles.

As I’m sure everyone’s aware, outlets like Vice have been doing a whole lot of glorification of sex work and other ‘related’ practices, which to Me has its pros and cons. We all know 50 Shades made everyone and their mamas aware of the fact that a LOT of people like to get spanked and choked or whatever. All the sudden the idea of BDSM wasn’t automatically some dirty, underground niche. Now we got all these indie media doing features on sex work, basically hitting the human interest goldmine, but still glamorizing everything to an extent and making it more palatable and ‘fascinating’ to the civilian public. This is a good time to mention that Mix’s feature in cash slaves is really the best thing I’ve seen, and I’m throwing shade at pretty much everything else that’s out there (link Me if You know of anything else good). So many of these shows want the shock and awe. This one started with that British Domme in Her dungeon, wearing latex talking about how a random guy sent Her 40k and disappeared, and how she's training chicks too? I was like “Vice, please stop. No MLM today.” Then they go to Mix’ place and She is just chillin', stevo is cleaning, She makes a joke at his expense and they both laugh.. I can’t imagine anything more natural and normal. Two perfectly kind, fulfilled, consenting adults who can enjoy living together in a functional, extreme d/s relationship; neither of T/them in it for quick thrills or quick cash. Let’s be real, stevo is so much happier than half these married mén, and those guys are probably sacrificing nearly as much at the end of the day. We haven’t met yet, but the sense of harmony I perceive between Mix’ domination style and life style is something that really inspires Me. I need a cross-stitched embroidery hoop that says “Won’t do anything for money that I wouldn’t do for free.” Bless.

I want to see us, as a society, get to the point where we can view d/s a form of valid relationship and not just a kink. As I said in My last blog, I’ve gotten to the point where I am beyond experimenting with findom, and am exploring more realtime play and developing My own personal approach to Femdom as I try My hand at more things (can I avoid a ‘learning the ropes” pun?). As I look forward to buying My first house in the next few weeks, I’m fantasizing more about finally taking up one of a number of local subs who have been patiently waiting and hoping to serve Me domestically one day. I am beyond excited to have My own space and be able to enjoy the service of subs from a place of slightly less novice. Remind Me to talk about My convertible playroom idea later and get Y’alls thoughts.

That’s all I’ve got for now. What do Y’all think? Do You have long term d/s relationships that have become a real part of your life? I’m also curious about what sorts of limits O/others have in terms of intimacy, and how O/others define intimacy in this context. Do you think showing love for subs has strengthened Your relationships or weakened them?