Bankruptcy excites me..

I been in this lifestyle for over 2 years now. I got introduced to findom by exploring other fetishes by my queen. Slowly I start moving away from these fetishes and now I mostly focus on drainings or sending tributes in way or other. I am into my third pay day loan now , my credit cards are maxed out.
I have start thinking to move towards bankruptcy now. My queen has allready told me the dangers assciciated with it , but my mind keep on telling me to push towards it. As for me the more money I send the more happy I will make my queen.

She told me, she don't wanna ruin me but I keep on requesting her to do so. I know I will have nothing left after that but to me that's ultimate sacrifice. I am not sure that I may need some addiction therapist or may be stay away from this lifestyle for a bit. But even after saying no so many times I want my queen to push me into this ultimate step.