Findom Addiction

So I've seen a little bit about findom addiction here and there in the past, and until recently I had not paid it much thought. That is, until today. I'm ashamed to say I've been lazy with my online presence over the last few months, I got complacent with my regular subs and let my social media accounts go to rack and ruin (well... for a findomme anyway!)

Over the last week I've got my shit together and been a lot more active, especially on twitter. Earlier today I saw a tweet appear in my feed from a guy who was advertising himself as a sort of life coach to findom addicts. He had no qualifications, experience or skills in therapy or mental health OR addiction, but he was happy to offer his help and advice (not free of charge I may add). Anyway, this guys idea of helping folk kick their addiction was taking to twitter to personally attack dommes that he had no experience with, knew nothing about... he had just seen a fetish RT-er mention their name and jumped in on them with insults and threats.

He claims he is a "findom survivor" and he is doing the community of findom addicts a good turn by having a pop at innocent random dommes that he doesn't know from Adam, and it got me thinking (dangerous I know!)



Now I don't doubt or even argue that addiction doesn't exist for finsubs, and as with any addiction it can severely damage a persons mental health, self esteem, family, career and even their life. I'd like to think that most dommes would be able to recognise the signs of addiction within their subs and take action when they see his quality of life suffering. As dommes we take enjoyment in the sexual suffering of our subs, but as humans we should be able to recognise when suffering goes beyond this to a point where every aspect of that persons life is shattering and it is at that point that we notice it, we should be responsible and say enough is enough. There will always be exceptions to the rule and dommes who will ignore this for an easy payday, and I'd say shame on them. However, from the ladies I know personally, I don't know many that would let a human being continue on a path of genuine destruction.

So with that being said, where does this "life coach" get off in attacking random dommes who are doing nothing more than practising their fetish? 90% of the ladies he is harassing will have never dealt with a truly addicted finsub, let alone done something to deliberately hurt an addicted finsub. If a domme is not "egging" a known addict on, then no responsibility lies at her feet if an addict falls off the wagon. Does the responsibility lie at the feet of the barman when an alcoholic orders a drink if he has never seen that person before? Ofcourse not. With the utmost respect to addicts of any type, the only way you can help one is if they are willing to help themselves. The responsibility to change and overcome lies with them, if they don't want to, no one can help them or change their mind.

Findommes have a right to practise their fetish without threats of harassment, aggression or bullying. If a sub believes he has an addiction to the fetish and wants help, wants to change and wants out, then that's absolutely fine. Seek professional help, tell your domme you want to cut ties and explain why (and if she doesn't support you then the fault lies at her door!), and do what you need to do to get yourself better and well... However, don't blame the dommes you served happily for months or years, don't bad mouth innocent people who are having consensual fun, don't spread hate and anger. Its not helpful to anyone involved, and if you truly want to break away... instead of coming back to insult and ridicule, cut all your ties and then the temptation is no longer there.