My Reflections on Findom So Far

This week marks my third... month in being a financial Dominatrix. It's been a crazy journey getting to where I am now but getting involved in this area of kink has opened up so many doors for me and helped me discover who I am as a person involved in kink.

I've been involved in the BDSM world since I was around 20, so around five years. I spent hours researching the psychology behind it all. I looked to my partners for experimentation. And until recently, all of this accumulated into a 2.5 year long relationship of myself in servitude to a Dom.

But upon ending that relationship in the winter, in the ugliest fashion, due to the lack of communication and concern over my well-being, I had an epiphany. I don't know if the pure rage inside of me toward my ex-Dominant had bubbled up past my control, or if a fuse in my brain blew, but suddenly the desire to be in servitude toward a man began to dwindle and die rapidly. I had never been in control of a situation, though I knew how to speak my mind and how the brains of both a submissive and a Dominant worked through firsthand and secondhand experience and teaching. I decided then and there: no man would make me sacrifice for him. I had been held down long enough, and it was time for the lesser sex to hold me up like I fucking deserved. So into the internet, Youtube, books, and even PornHub I went, dedicating weeks into learning everything I could about mindfuckery, sadism, and dominance as a whole. I wanted more than a taste of what one man once had me hand to him willingly. I wanted that control, that satisfaction, and I wanted to do it right, to benefit both me and the pigs that wished to serve at my feet. But mostly me, of course.

Through time on Kik, Twitter, brief stints on Alt and CollarSpace, I found this site and dove right in. I was able to watch fellow Dommes work on the subs that lurked in chat, and laugh at how they fumbled. I watched as my inbox began to fill fast with messaging from inquiring subs and paypigs about what I was all about. And one week in, upon sessioning on Skype for the first time, I learned from firsthand experience how the male submissive mind worked, how to sneak into the brains of the ones wanting to serve me and exploit the most intimate, shameful parts of their psyche. I learned fast that the blueprints to be a sadist had been logged inside my head for the longest time. I was able to act on it all, sitting there with my glass of wine and a smug look on my face as I watched sub after sub drain themselves, torment themselves, suffer... all for me. For my enjoyment. And I was quite pleased. I was happy.

I enjoy getting to know the other Dommes around me and learn from them, as much as I enjoy seeing a new sub slink his way into my inbox and cautiously attempt to engage me, while I sit there grinning at his awkwardness while I make an itinerary of how I can get them to bend to me. There are so many unique people in this niche of the kink world, both Dominant and submissive, and I can say that I've never been more pleased with a decision to make a change. I am respected, feared, and adored. I am listened to and obeyed with rarely a word of even uncertainty. I am held up as the gorgeous, intelligent, captivating Goddess that I am. No longer am I subservient. No longer will a day come where I EVER let my sexuality be someone else's to mold. I have power that I will use, aggression that I will dig into when appropriate. I will make any with genuine interest in serving me have me on their brain the second they get up in the morning and the second right before they drift to sleep at night.

I deserve to be spoiled, to be pampered, to be WORSHIPPED. And financial domination has shown it all to me.

Now line up, pigs. You have work to do for me.