Servitude - Prime Factors

So, being the super nerdy domme I am, I am about to write a post that was actually inspired after watching an episode of Star Trek: Voyager. The episode was called "Prime Factors" and what struck me about it was its commentary on the nature of hospitality. In the episode, an alien race was supposedly famous for their hospitality in that star system, but even the IMDB episode blurb more accurately describes them as hedonistic.

What this all came down to was that they were a race who derived their own pleasure from serving others and giving pleasure to others, and that ultimately made them reject others when they were forced to experience displeasure from their service. My take away here, or I guess what the episode made me think about, was the nature of personal pleasure in servitude, and what it meant for the core of those actions.

I have seen this same topic touched upon by other dommes and subs, and that is, the idea of where the server's pleasure comes into play (if at all) in relation to the pleasure of the person being served. I think what it came down to most for me, after reflecting on this episode, is that the server's pleasure is still essential to the dynamic, but it shouldn't be the focus.

Let's put it this way - Imagine, 4 different people: Server A is only concerned with their own pleasure in the dynamic; server B is mostly concerned with their own pleasure, but still considered the pleasure of the person being served; server C is mostly concerned with the pleasure of the person being served, but still considers their own pleasure into how they go about their servitude; and server D is only concerned with the pleasure of the person being served. Now, it is really easy to take what I am trying to say, throw Server A and D into the fire for being extreme, and say that server B, or more likely, C are my exemplary subs. But, this is not what i am saying at all. Server A and D are the ones that would technically stay, but in my ideal world, they are the same person.

What the Star Trek episode made it seem like in the beginning WAS a combination of A and D, but in the end, it was revealed that the race trully was only concerned with their own pleasure - that they got pleasure out of being pleasure givers. I still think this is inaccurate. The problem I see here is that the pleasure of those this alien race served still hinged on whether or not the aliens would find pleasure in serving them. If serving others meant a lack of pleasure (or the opposite of pleasure - pain/torture/struggle/sacrifice) then they dismissed it entirely. In a D/s relationship, that is unacceptable, hard stops and safety being the exception.

In my ideal D/s relationship, the sub would take on the pleasures of the domme as if they were his or her own. In a sense, the sub's pleasure is considered, but primarily the sub's pleasure is the pleasure of the domme. What the domme enjoys, the sub strives to fulfill. That fulfillment, or that duty, is the source of the sub's pleasure. Of course, just as any good guest would offer to alleviate the burdens of the host, as would a domme alleviate the sacrifices of the sub - if they are worthy of it. But, it is entirely to the domme's discretion, and this honor should never be expected by the sub, because it is not their place to.

Subs will have their own wants and needs, and I think this is where finding a suitable match in a domme comes in. Of course, someone with completely opposite kinks and fantasies isn't going to be fulfilled by a domme who commands they do the opposite. I think that is probably the biggest thing this episode made me consider. The idea that personal preference and match should come in to play too is not as aparent in the realm of hospitality, but it is there. There are people out there who don't tip, or maybe their entire culture is structured around not tipping - like they say, you can always spot an American who tries to tip in a foreign country because they just assume thats how it is everywhere, and vice versa. Perhaps you are the kind of person who enjoys being checked on every 10 minutes at a restaurant, and perhaps you are the kind of person where you want to be left alone after you order until you flag for a check, mind the silent water refills. Either way, it makes sense to go to an establishment where you will be served accordingly, or to communicate to your wait staff that you perfer it one way or another. This may be a trial and error experience, or maybe you will be able to find a way to research it before your dining experience. Either way, it is up to you to put in that work because rarely do these things fall into your lap.

All in all, this ended up being a cyclical conversation with myself which, as usual, ended up with me returning back to the mutual reality of relationships. Two people means two are bringing their own lives, expectations, pleasures, etc. to the table, and now you have to set it to your liking, and hope they use the same method of place setting as you do. Especially the location of the forks.