DIsabilities and BDSM

I lead a active lifestyle. I go to munches, Femdom and Lifestyle parties. I even session out of my home on cam and real time sessions with clients. During the week I go grocery shopping, go to the gas station, pharmacy, and restaurants. Now people see me talk about my back and how it hurts and the many, many doctor appointments I go to. I talk about my meds and how I am high occasionally, but what some of you don’t know, is how bad my disability is. Yes, I said disability. Clinically and medically I am deemed disabled. I have arthritis up and down the vertebrae of my spine, sacrial joints and my hips. I have 3 discs in my neck that are protruding into my spinal column, nerve damage in my legs, back and neck, Fibromyalgia, and migraines. How do I always look so happy and enjoying life? Well, I fake it. I am in pain 100% of the time 24 hours a day 365 days a year. There isn’t a time I am not in pain. I have become very good at faking being happy and looking good. On a good day my pain level is at a 6. Now that’s a 6 for me. For a normal healthy person that 6 could be a 9. However, I do not let my pain define me.
I have good days and bad days. On a good day I can almost function normally, but with pain. I pick my battles on what I am going to do, knowing in the back of my head that for the next 3 days I am going to pay for ANY activity I do outside of sitting and laying down. And even then, I can’t do that comfortably. I try to attend at least 1 BDSM event a month. I prepare myself mentally the whole week leading up to the event. I take my time getting ready that day. Take a shower and rest. Do my makeup and rest. Do my hair and rest. Get dressed and rest. Lots of resting as I can’t use up all my energy getting ready so by the time I am ready to leave I am so exhausted I don’t feel like going anywhere. So, I pace myself. I can have a full scene with a sub that can last about a good hour or so depending on what I am doing before I feel drained and have to stop. Once I start having fun I know that for the next 3 to 4 days I am going to be laid up in bed swearing at myself for over doing it. But guess what, I do it all over again the next month.
As for the rest of the time I am not out and about. I am home. I am not allowed to carry a laundry basket, vacuum, bend over to much, stand on my feet to much etc. Nothing to agitate the discs in my back. So why do I do the things that make me feel more pain? I don’t want to have my disability define who I am until such time where it will hinder my life and put me in a wheel chair.
Yes, I am disabled. You may see the smile on my face, but know behind it and deep down inside I am a screaming bitch in a shit ton of pain. Don’t let your disabilities keep you from having fun. If you know your limits, and prepare mentally and physically or what you are going to do, and don’t forget aftercare for the days following. Drink lots of water, get lots of rest and take your meds as scheduled. Be alert and cautious of our surroundings and don’t overdo it. No one wants to wake up in an emergency room because they didn’t listen to their body.