Observations on being "new"

An interesting observation for me being a fresh face to the findom scene.

Luckily, I haven't gotten this vibe off of this site at all, but on certain other sites, there is a culture of shunning the newcomers and automatically discrediting their legitimacy. I find it extremely unfortunate. From my observation, it is possible those people are just insecure in their own abilities as a domme, and don't take well to competition.

On this site, I was greeted with warm welcome, educational and articulate discussions, and gorgeous goddesses willing to provide guidance to newcomers. It is sad this isn't the way it is elsewhere. I have even been told elsewhere that since I was under 25 I was simply a gold digger looking for handouts, and that I didn't belong here. I was appalled. If you think self-awareness is entirely dependent on age and time spent on this earth then I am concerned for you abilities as a domme to understand human nature. Maybe people are intimidated by a fresh faced woman - but again, the only thing that says to me is you're insecure about your own abilities. In my opinion, older dommes do have more appeal to the masses anyway, because they do come with that implication of experience, but young people should not be discredited just based on their age.

In some respect, I have to admit it is a bit warranted. A lot of people these days think that being a domme is easy money, or just simply saying "fuck you, pay" or name calling till you get what you want. It makes it even harder for young women like myself who are truly interested in the artful practice of domination to be taken seriously. People assume because of our age, we are just another "Instadomme" looking for a handout.

In reality, I have spent months educating myself, talking with others, keeping a journal, taking notes, and collecting various resources to prepare myself for even ENTERING the scene. I sometimes cringe at being called "new" or knowing my profile says I have only been a member for a few days because I feel like people don't take time to get to know whether you're real or not anymore, subs and dommes alike. The idea of someone looking at my profile and seeing, oh she's only been here for a few days, she must not be good, is a bit painful for me to wrap my head around, because from what I've seen, there are "experienced" dommes out there who are still inarticulate, looking for handouts, not looking to put in the work to be GOOD, and expecting submission on pure existence and not merit. Again, this is almost entirely other sites I have witnessed this on, but there are dommes out there who claim to have experience yet still think of this role as something it absolutely is not.

And don't get me wrong, there is a huge difference between telling a sub you shouldn't be lifting a finger, and actually believing that domination is absolutely zero work for the domme. One is a tactical representation and image management, and the other is ignorance and a bastardization of an art form. It makes my skin crawl.

rant over, I suppose. Again, not complaining about this site or anyone on it, just a general observation I've witnessed over my months of gathering information and learning about the scene. To all you other young dommes out there, I got you.