Do I care for my subs?

I get asked this question a lot. I don't know if it's because there is a high amount of dommes who don't, I don't know if it's because the people asking desire to be cared for in a non conventional way, I don't know if it's because they're tried to decide if I am weak or soft. I don't know why, but after thinking about it, my answer would be as follows.

I have gone from having a large group of "subs" to a small group. This is not including the men who pop in to send me a gift or the bingers who swear they "can't do this anymore" and come crawling back a few weeks later with a large tribute. This is including the ones I favour.

My large group were useful, but did not make me feel how a Goddess should feel. The majority of the subs were doing it for the wrong reasons (I know this now). They would do it so they could finish themselves off or they would do it because they were low. They were doing it for THEMSELVES.

The subs I have decided to keep are those I converse with everyday. The ones who have dedicated their whole lives around making mine better. They go without many luxuries they had before, to put a smile (or smirk) on my face. But other than the financials, they have told me of their lives, their struggles and their highs. Some may feel this is a soft approach (don't get me wrong, I can be incredibly harsh on them) but I think it helps me to understand their mindset more. Despite the fact I could ruin them, they trust me and that's because we have built some form of bond - no matter how unconventional that bond is.

One of my favourite subs was in a car accident a few years before we met. He no longer has the use of his legs and has lost many of his friends. He has hospital appointments regularly and sub-consciously, I care that he gets good results and would wish for him to be mobile again one day.

Would I be speaking to them if they weren't paying me? No. As much as they get off on sending, it pleases me to receive and they are no use to me otherwise. But yes, the small group that I consider dedicated, loyal and eager to please - I do care for. I can't describe in what way and I DEFINITELY cannot say I care for them the same way they care for me. But simply, I care about their health, their well-being and even, on a good day, their existence.

The point I wanted to make before writing what would appear to be a novel, is that it is okay for a domme to admit if she cares for a sub that has been around for a long time. You don't have to hate them everyday. You should always remain in power and in control - but you don't have to be stone cold 100% of the time (in my opinion). Maybe just 98% of it.

Goddess Amber.