Fakers in Pro-BDSM: Poisoning the Well

Time and time again I hear snippets of horror stories; I hear of "submissives" wasting valuable time and effort, I hear of "Dommes" scamming people out of unthinkable sums of money. 

As a newcomer to the professional BDSM scene I personally find this to be a massive hindrance. I spoke to someone today, a genuine financial submissive, who spoke of times past on the FinDom scene.
It was a time of murky yahoo chat rooms, no pictures exchanged, a time where you knew the women you spoke to were genuine, and that the submissives were genuine also; people trusted each other, you didn't have to post countless dated pictures just prove who you were. It wasn't an immediate battle to see who could get what out of who first.

Instead I make my debut onto a scene where every site, every social media platform is a minefield- full of pouting, gym-clothes clad pretend figures, both Domme and sub, all out to get something for nothing. No-one trusts each other, every submissive requires you to jump through hoops to prove you're not some creepster with an empty bank account, and every Domme demands payment for their time before you even open your mouth to say hello.
For the newcomer, It's a world of trying to guess who's wearing a fake face whilst desperately trying to prove your own legitimacy.  

I find that very sad. 

This kind of behaviour on both sides means that even genuine, hardworking, willing submissives sometimes go ignored, shamed or cast out as "Time wasters", and genuine, capable young Dommes are called out, sometimes even shunned by the community, because they look young- and are therefore deemed as scammers or "insta-Dommes" before they've even found their feet. 

Sadly, this toxic atmosphere is not helped by the accessible nature of the internet. Social media platforms, online galleries and fetish sites make it easier than ever to simply download a new identity; you could be anyone at all if you wanted,  the miraculously beautiful woman of every needy submissive's dreams; and because of the ever evolving world of Financial Domination it's disturbingly easy to make a profit with a beautiful face that was never yours. 

This fear of being scammed is very real, and puts a barrier of suspicion up almost immediately online. Not everyone can make it to fetish events, and not everyone can accommodate real time dungeon sessions; so this kind of inherent suspicion can cripple Dommes with a smaller audience, especially those who are younger, who network and accrue their business through the internet. 

It feels like all the genuine but not as established Dommes & genuine submissives end up passing each other by because they're all afraid of losing time and money. So many fulfilling, incredible D/s relationships that never get the chance to bloom.

I suppose it's naive to wish that everyone trusted each other and there were no scammers- unfortunately where there's money to be made, there will always be those willing to exploit the system, and to think or hope that all people are better than that is to be a fool.

I guess the fact that there are those that ruin the fun for everyone else just leaves a bad taste in my mouth; it upsets me to think how many genuine, potentially talented Dommes and subs have given up and left because this poisonous culture of suspicion has chased them out.

Don't get me wrong here, I understand that the world of sex work, Domination included, can be very "dog-eat-dog." I can almost hear the counter-argument of "but if you're not prepared to fight against it and keep going despite adversity then why bother?", but it's not about that. It's about this horrible mire of distrust in a scene where trust is one of the most, if not the most, important things; and how that shouldn't have to be a hurdle for the new generation of Dominant Women and submissives.

If you're a well established Dominant, with hordes of admirers and plenty of evidence that you're very good at what you do, then a few who don't believe you is nothing, something to be ignored and laughed off. 
But what if you're not there yet? If you're a small-time Domme who has a much smaller audience and much less traffic, having that same percentage pass you by is potentially lethal. It can be the difference between succeeding and having the cash to invest, to grow and expand, or having your career simply die due to complete lack of interest, despite how good at it you are or all the hard work you put in.

In short, I suppose just continue being diligent.

But also, if you don't have a little faith, then you might miss a real treasure. Whether that's a fresh-faced, brilliantly talented Domme or a submissive who turns out to be a joy to train or use, a little scrutiny and care alongside a little trust might mean you find the BDSM partner you've always searched for, and a lifetime of fulfillment.  

xxx