On approaching people online.

I understand that this is probably the subject of writings all over the net, time and time again.

I imagine there's probably a blog somewhere very similar to this, but I can promise I've not read any blogs regarding this subject (as I tend not to browse blogs) and any similarity perceived is purely coincidence. If it's exactly the same by some wild chance then I will change Mine to avoid any upset.

But regardless of the multitude of outcries certain people still don't listen, or take the time to make themselves look appealing and respectable as a person, submissive, a client, or even a candidate for ownership.

If you're just approaching someone, regardless of their status, taking five minutes to correct spelling errors, make what you're writing understandable or make sure you're not being 10/10 creepy is, in My view, something everyone should do, or at the very least try to do.

Would you really approach a well-dressed stranger in the street and say "hi sexy u r so hottt, thinkin of what i wud do 2 u right now ;)"?

No, I didn't think so.

Just because you're hiding behind your computer screen doesn't mean all effort and social grace goes out of the window.

Just because this is a kink website or the person considers themselves to be a Mistress/Master/Submissive doesn't mean they want to hear things like that or have to speak to someone who can barely string a legible sentence together.

If you're going to approach someone, to avoid embarrassment, actually read their profile first. Some people specifically state not to message them at all, some don't want to chat and are all business, some demand formality and respect, and some mention a delay in response time.

In any case, be at the very least polite. Don't just jump right in and make it awkward, ask them if they have time and would like to chat first.
Let them know you'd like to get to know them as an individual, or at the very least deliver your compliment or appreciative comment politely and without being disgusting about it.

"Hey! Was looking at your profile today and I really loved your pictures- you're really beautiful and seem like a real laugh- if you've got a spare few minutes sometime, I'd really like the opportunity to chat and get to know you a little, if that's ok?"

Now how hard was that? Give them the choice as to whether they respond, take a step back.

Of course this is different if they have specifically said "Talk dirty to me", this isn't about that.

If the person you're messaging is a pro-Dominant, and you're after a real-time session, then formality & conciseness without missing too much detail is key.

First things first..

READ THEIR PROFILE.

I cannot emphasize this enough. I get so many messages a day asking for things that are clearly stated in My hard limits it drives Me insane. Read their profile. See what they like and dislike before you tell them what you're into.

If you ask for an activity they've clearly stated they don't like, then you immediately look like an idiot.

If they like bookings through another site and have supplied a link, then do it through there. If they have a website, book through there. Make it as easy as possible for the Dominant you're contacting.

As a pro-Dominant Myself, My ideal first message would look something like this :

Hello,

My name is [insert name here] and I am [age]. I would ideally like to session with you on [day/month/year] at [time], but I am also available on [Insert multiple alternative dates here] if you're not available on that day.

I really enjoy [insert specific fetishes here]
I'm comfortable with having certain limits pushed [insert soft limits here]
I'd like to try [insert specific fetishes here] at your convenience
My hard limits are [insert hard limits here]

It's really not that difficult.

We as pro-Dommes receive a lot of information every day. It makes our jobs a LOT easier if you just take a few minutes to avoid dancing around the subject, get straight to the point and provide the information We need with no prompting. It means We can either accept or refuse your request, and get you booked in as quickly as possible.

No mess, no fuss.

And if they reject you?

It could be for a multitude of reasons, all of which they don't have to disclose. If you're lucky, they'll take the time to explain why you were rejected so you can let it lie if it's not your fault, or if it is, improve your attitude and try again, hopefully with more success, elsewhere.

If you've been polite and well informed, but they're straight up rude without reason then you've probably dodged a bullet anyway, and it's really not worth chasing them.

But if they've been polite to you but refused a fetish, for goodness' sake don't be an asshole about it.

All you're doing is flagging yourself as a problem customer, and Dommes who are local to each other do sometimes communicate.

You might just find one day that you can't seem to get an appointment anywhere in your city.. And lo and behold, it's because you showed your rude nature to Someone who wasn't going to let you speak to Them that way and get away with it.

Everyone has different reasons for not doing or not offering certain things.
It's not your place to question it or kick off about it because it doesn't suit your specific needs or fantasies.

Beautiful young Goddess doesn't offer FinDom? She's not an asshole for it.
Attractive Master doesn't offer forced bi? He's not an asshole for it.
Dominant has nice feet but won't offer footjobs? They're not an asshole for it.

In short, act how you want people to see you. If you act like a child, you'll be treated like one. If you message like an idiot, you'll be treated like one.