HOw little we all know each other (musings)

Many of us spend hours here in the Chatroom, interacting on some base.

Most of the time it's the same people who are there, talking, chatting away. It's a wonderful thing really, but ever so often it becomes clear just how little we all know each other. Just how little of our actual real life and personalities show through, or if they do how little other people pay attention to them.

In a way it's understandable, we are here in a fetish capacity mostly and real life often isn't all that arousing to most. In many cases we try to play our cards close to our chests. Both sides. You never know who is watching and if those people are shady or not. Most are great and you'd never have to worry about anything, but many have also been burned before when giving too much trust.

Many years ago and we are talking MANY I had made a conscious decision to be transparent about who and what I am. It was a decision that didn't come easy. I knew that by being transparent I would lose a lot of opportunities, would make some frinemies, be possibly talked about like shyte behind My back etc. I knew that the TMI personality could scare boys away or just bore them, because it had nothing to do with their skinflaps between their legs.

At the same time however it gave other people the opportunity to actually get to know Me as a person and not just some Illusion of a Mistress who is so much superior to everyone all the time. Personally I find it yawn inducing when that is something that has to be constantly said. I already know that I am a superior woman, I don't think I need to slap you over the head with it constantly. Seriously if you can't figure it out for yourself than what's the point?

Many of My good boys ended up becoming My good boys because of that transparency. They found something that they could connect with. They saw something in the normal everyday person that they could associate with, that they had something in common with. That they could talk about with when the time for just casual chat was there.

It made me at the same time more fear inducing and yet approachable at the same time. A very strange combination in a way.

When I sit back and watch people in the chatrooms, on social media, in groups etc. I always wonder what makes them tick. I always sit there when someone acts out and try to find what has made them so sour, so upset, that this type of behavior has been triggered. Usually there is some chip on their shoulder that just turns them argumentative or downright rude at times. What was it? What happened in your life that made you that way? Can you be helped to overcome it? Because honestly being a sour puss and argumentative snot won't get you anywhere in life. Not here and not anywhere else.

Often times something is said that is taken very wrong and it starts feelings of butthurtness and drama. Not just here, I am generalizing. It's everywhere. I always wonder when I see that, why was it taken that way. What happened, what did you have to endure and overcome that made you so sensitive to certain words, certain topics etc.

There are Ladies here I have spoken to for YEARS and I know almost nothing about. Oh sure I now what they present on here and whereever I know them from, but that's it. I know the mask, the persona, the Illusion. The real person behind it I know from very few and ironically it is them I treasure the most.

I take calls on Niteflirt as many of you know and regardless of how you view that, it is a big part of how I earn My living so I don't have to depend on anyone else. With Me traveling selling content, taking calls, counseling, writing and selling books, doing real time Pro-Domination sessions whenever possible, and other Fetish / BDSM oriented Professional things is the way to go. Aside from that I have done this from the start really since there too I had made a hard decision. I wanted to be able to do what I love and I turned my passion, my lifestyle, and my expertise into My full-time career. It wasn't easy and it didn't happen overnight. I had to learn a lot, eat crow a lot of time and humble myself to ask for guidance from those who went before Me. I did get that formal training, did the short period as a sub to find out what it was like on the other side and found out that I can't be that. It's not Me, it almost emotionally killed Me. No exaggeration there. It was however a valuable learning experience that I will never regret because of that. I learned to look deeper, to pay closer attention, and how to read signs a lot better.

The irony of all of that is that even when I am in My professional capacity I am still always just Me. On Niteflirt I talk to boys the same way as I would someone I meet in the real life vanilla arena. They get what they see, just me. Now some don't like that, but most have become loyal callers and phone clients because of it. They take an interest in Me as the person and to Me that is important.

It's also how I judge if someone is even suitable to becoming a slave of mine. Do they take any interest in Me as the woman named Regina (yes My real name that is well known because I never made a secret out of it) or are they only interested in the Domme Goddess Bella Donna?

When I ask a potential boy what his name is I often get the screenname only from them. The hiding behind the mask. I tell them no dear your real first name. The person, not the character. It shocks them and at times makes them feel exposed, vulnerable, uncomfortable. Yet if all I know about you is your fetish interests and nothing else, no background, no real personality, how am I supposed to form a connection with you? How am I supposed to get a real feel of who you are and what I can do with you.

The same goes with Me and My fellow Ladies. I can be cordial to just about everyone unless they are totally in the C-behavior category all the time, then I ignore them. But can we be friends? I mean that goes a lot deeper you know?

As much as I understand the desire to hide behind the screen and not want to give too much of yourself away, you do take a huge risk when you do, at the same time I think that it is often a hindrance as well. There is a lot more to all of us then our looks, our online persona, our fetishes and kinks.

Just a little food for thought on a Sunday.