The First Permission

To approach.

As varied are the beings on this floating rock most of us call home, there might be twice as many variations as to how any one of us prefers to be approached (or not at all).

I've previously already written My thoughts on approaching in this social scene. Truth be told, as I am still learning Myself, it is one thing I struggle with as well, sometimes. Everyone has their different ways, Dominant and submissive persons alike. Some reach out first, whilst others may wait to be addressed in some way first, for some sort of 'opening'. For as long as it is respectful, I believe there is no one right or wrong way.

I feel where I might have gone a leetle wrong along that way is the first step of actually appearing approachable. Or so I think, most of the time. I will say of My time on this site in particular, I don't really get approached by submissives, and didn't for quite a while - yet, now, I'm on amicable terms with some of them, after, like, almost two years. It took more than a year before any submissives actually spoke to Me, and I am excluding the ones who are simply after some sessions or wasting time.

Now, is it because I'm so scary that you don't know if it's okay to approach Me at all?
Or, maybe I'm just unappealing. Possible. I mean, you're definitely wrong and missing out on This Good, but different folks.

But, then, I do get approached by very respectful and (almost) perfectly submissive men occasionally, on findoms.com as well as other sites. They do tend to stand out like a saint amongst the random verbal abuse and requests for a wank session, so it is quite the pleasure when that happens.

I do know that it takes showing what you are and what is to be approached, in order to be seen as approachable by whomever. Logically speaking, that is. After all this time, I still don't yet know for certain what I could put of Myself in a profile anywhere. What am I? What do I do? What do I want? I get asked this a lot, to be honest, and I can never give a straightforward answer. At such times, I feel like kindred spirits with Heath Ledger's version of The Joker. Seeing as the guy has said,

"If you’re good at something, never do it for free."

"Introduce a little anarchy. Upset the established order,
and everything becomes chaos. I'm an agent of chaos..."

"Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am?
I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it!
You know, I just... *do* things."

I couldn't tell you what I am and what I do, even if I wanted to. Neither of us will know, until I have done it.

Besides that, I've written some very informative profiles and still get ridiculous messages, so I figured, why bother with that. Now I put less information, and for the rest, whomever wishes to know, may ask.

Which brings Me nicely back to the actual point at hand. How does one know, and make the decision thus, to do so? To approach and ask.

I don't approach others, or very rarely, if at all. I suppose I also don't post as much, nor do I come up and really chat in the chatroom all that much. Silly, I know, considering that is how you put yourself out there to be approached. But, this is Me. I don't mind, and often enough enjoy sitting by the side and simply observing others and their interactions.

I probably know a fair amount about a lot of the people on here just from doing that. -grins-

Flip the coin, I also feel it redundant, for Me personally, to go out and tell people just that they may approach Me IF they happen to want to. It works for many, I am aware, but it's not for Me. I could post a status every day just to say 'hey I'm here so message Me if you wanna, wankers' and then sit and wait, but that's also not for Me.

Perhaps I simply prefer interactions and relationships that just Happen. Be it by chance, or fate.

With Me, the permission to send a message or approach whenever is pretty much always Open, as long as you are respectful and do so in an informed manner (i.e. read My damn profile first at least + My blogs). If I didn't want to allow you, believe Me, I would ensure you would never be able to even if you wished. I honestly only ever put out the "pay to speak to Me" caveat if I'm really annoyed so, no, it isn't necessary to send a tribute before sending a message. But it helps you to keep in mind that doing so may well earn My attention and nice side much sooner.