Genuine Findom Fetishists are a Myth

*Note: This entry was first published by me on Fetlife.com
**Note: The word "genuine" is used in the definition context of having sincere action, NOT in the definition that it is the 'true' form

This is primarily in concern with the fetish that I am a Domme in: Findom. This also applies to wishlist slaves and those that pay for sessions/fantasy scenarios.

Genuine people in this fetish has become so rare that the pure concept of peoples with true intentions have become more of a myth than reality.

I aim to fix this with definitions, reality checks and step-by-step instructions.

This is separated into two sections: subs/slaves & Dommes/Doms/Superiors
Money denominations are not included, however, my mindset while writing the denominations of this article is that of US Dollar, British Pound & European Euro

THE SUBS/SLAVES

Those of you that are considered a sub or slave in the Findom fetish, PAY UP. If you have issues paying prior to contacting a Domme, you are not in the Financial Domination fetish.

The CORRECT Definition for slaves/subs

The giving of money to appease your satisfaction, with no expectation of anything in return is what a Findom sub or slave does.
Thus, requiring anything from the Domme (or Dom) prior to conversion is a blatant disregard to the above fact. If the Domme is, indeed, fake ... there should be no issue, your money went to someone smarter than you, which is the whole point; submission to a superior. If you were hoping that person was to become a permanent Owner, well then, report them to various groups and get on with your findom ways.

DO NOT ASK FOR ANYTHING FROM DOMMES IF YOU ARE CLAIMING TO BE A FINDOM FETISH SUB/SLAVE

There is nothing wrong with vetting a person to give your money to for your particular fetish, but, that is not findom.

If you want nude photos/videos, you are not into findom, you are into cam girl/guy

Putting money where your desires are

Okay, so you don't want something for nothing, but you genuinely want to give your money to a superior to appease your deep desires.

But i'm afraid
Well, get over it. So your cravings go against the grain of society, well there are plenty of us that do too, you're not the only one.

Sending even a small amount will help you get past that fear and just jump in. Then, you can increase your amounts. This can be randomly or with a specific Domme.

• For some of you, random, anonymous tributes may help you the most. Send 5, then 10, then 20, then more ... double your amounts as you go. This will get you used to your cravings.
  
• For others, random spurts of 25-35 will help. These may be anonymous or known. If you make yourself known, be prepared to submit occasionally or often (if your goal is to eventually find an Owner)
  

But i don't know how to start

1. Go to any of the groups that are Findom related (I am part of a few)
   
2. Research the Dommes. This means reading their profile IN ENTIRETY, look at photos, read writings/journal entries, click their other links to learn even more.
   
3. Send tribute to your designated Domme - Make yourself known (include username and which site you found her/will be contacting her from) and make your initial tribute reflect your desire to become an owned slave/sub. As in triple digits (100+) for cash or wishlist tributes.
   
4. DO NOT RETRACT TRIBUTE. If you're scared, or have second thoughts, let the Domme know. Perhaps you'll come back, but do not withdraw, you WILL be blacklisted and advertised as a fake.
   
5. Only after tribute is sent, approach the Domme with respect and inform her that you sent a tribute, that you're new and humbly ask for her willingness to train a sub/slave like yourself.
   

But i don't have that form of payment/tribute method
If you're making this excuse, you're not a true sub/slave.
Sign up for whatever preferred tribute method that Domme wants

But i'm worried about my information/safety
This is a legit concern, if a Domme tells you otherwise, do not listen (unless you are into blackmail ... which you shouldn't be, it's illegal).

I can tell you that Paypal is NOT a safe payment method. They often freeze accounts if they suspect sex industry payments. Yes. This fetish is considered part of the sex industry.

For concerns about methods from your specific country, post in a Findom Group or read the threads.

But i have some other random excuse
At this point you're just too afraid. If you're too afraid, go away. Superiors do not need their time wasted.

Deposits

Deposits are a payment to ensure that you are sincere in your desired interaction with a superior and are most common with first time interactions

This HAS to be addressed. If you want a real time interaction with a Domme, such as:

• Cash point meets
  
• Sessions
  
• Specific Fantasy Scenerios
  
• Anything else that requires in person interaction of any sort
  

THERE WILL BE A DEPOSIT
If you cannot give a deposit for a superior's time, then you are not a findom sub/slave.

As stated above, deposits may not be applicable after you've proven loyalty and that the Domme can trust you.

DOMMES/DOMS/SUPERIORS

We cannot fully blame the subs/slaves for their stupidity on all counts. Part of the genuine issue is that, well, those of you parading to be Dommes are truly not. You are people that think you can get something for nothing. If you think that, then you are begging.
Being a Domme takes time, sincerity and dedication
Yes, there is actual work involved.

Starting Out

First, ask yourself if you just want money or are trying for quick money. If this is a case, Findom is not for you. It takes time and work to create a solid base of slaves to become successful in the fetish.

Do Research
I suggest reading "Greedy: A Guide to Financial Domination", found on Amazon (this is only sold as a digital copy) and costs just under $5 (at the time of this writing). This will help you understand base concepts of the Findom fetish.

Also, there are groups on fetlife that have tons of information for new Dommes, please be sure to read them.

Reading this blog helps too :)

Create a Presence
Once ready, create a presence online. You may also do so at fetish conventions, but to be taken seriously at said conventions, having an online presence helps.

• Findoms.com, Twitter, & Fetlife are the ones I recommend. There are more.
  
• Fill out your profiles in their entirety (none of these one liner things)
  
• DO NOT COPY another Domme. Inspiration happens, but put your own flair in there. Your unique Domme style is what will entice and keep subs/slaves.
  
• Using other sites like niteflirt.com or clips4sale.com can be useful if you're interested in combining findom with other fetishes

There is no right or wrong way to be a FinDomme, but there are right and wrong ways to use various terminology and create false information.

Above all: RESPECT YOUR FELLOW DOMMES

Nudity

If you offer nudity in exchange for money, you are a camgirl, not a FinDomme.
Financial domination does not require any nudity at any time. Now, some Dommes do choose to reward subs/slaves/pets for loyalty/large tributes and this is a part of Findom. The key difference is that the subs/slaves are not tributing to receive nudity.

There is nothing wrong if you wish to be a camgirl, let yourself free and enjoy that cash! But DO NOT advertise it as Findom. This causes confusion to the already inferior subs/slaves and has created a rather large black hole of ignorance.

If you cannot get past the fact that you truly like to show your body for money but don't want to have negative connotations associated with you, then don't show your face or don't do it. DO NOT claim findom to make yourself feel better.

Tribute

Okay ladies, as said above: Tribute is the form of receiving money from a sub/slave without them expecting anything in return.
Thus, saying that you will give photos/items/etc. for tribute is NOT tribute. This is paying for an item/service.

If we start using this word correctly, subs/slaves will then learn that, in the world of Findom, they deserve nothing in return for their tributes. Us Dommes are here to provide an outlet for their fetish of giving money to superiors.

Tribute Methods

There is a nice thread that goes over the best ways for tribute methods: https://fetlife.com/groups/243/group_posts/6815052

I am US based and my preferred methods are:

• Square Cash (cash.me) - Anonymity for both participants & it goes directly into your account. Does require a debit card.
  
• Smile.Amazon.com - Perfect for non-US tributes in the form of Amazon Gift Cards, to be redeemed instantly OR items. This is normal Amazon.com but with the Smile.Amazon.com it does donate to a cause of your choice.

False Tributes

DO NOT LIE ABOUT RECEIVING TRIBUTES

It's sad this is even a category. Seriously. Dommes, how can we claim we are superior if we are faking tribute amounts? This is degrading to yourself and to the fetish title that you hold. Just don't do it.

Be Genuine, not a Myth

By understanding terms and following them, this will create a pleasurable reality for all of us involved in this small fetish.

Education is a powerful thing.