Down the hole;

It's exhilarating to fall into a trap. The haunting thought of foolishly tripping over the edge and tumbling downward. Oops. The rush, the excitement, the fear, the siren's song of temptation. It can get overwhelming. Especially when you've been so cautious and apprehensive in past, but I couldn't scratch the gnawing itch. With enough coaxing, I caved. I "accidently" slipped into the hole and into her clutches. I was terrified. I was anxious. I was lightheaded. I was... swooning. If I didn't know any better, I could've sworn my eyes turned into little pink hearts. She just sneered at me and laughed. I went nuts for the look of contempt on her face. I was melted putty in that instance, utterly enchanted. Tunnel visioning in on her as she took advantage. It was swift and she was gracefully merciless throughout. I ended that day with a crush, a dazed smile and an empty wallet.

Findom isn't just a carnal desire to me though, despite the paragraph above. I'm sure this applies to a lot of other subbies out there as well. It's a two-sided coin. On one side, I yearn to be used. To be prey. To succumb. To surrender. To let go. On the other side, I desperately and wholeheartedly want to make someone happy. I get joy out of this, pure happiness and it isn't driven by lust. A smile is by far one of the most special and most rewarding things I could ever invoke in someone else, especially a superior. It's a goal that I aim for without abandon. It's something I cherish each time it happens. It's majestic. It's beautiful. It's powerful. Both sides of that coin elicit a powerful emotion in me. One of lust, fantasy, dreams... and the other of happiness, fulfillment, purpose, and warmth. Both sides allow me to portray my personality and creativity; both give me something to strive towards, to better myself in, and they both give me something to look up to. Findom is a huge part of my life. Not just my sex life, but my entire life, and I'm oh so grateful that I'm able to share it with someone and explore because gosh, I sure do like exploring and adventuring.

Slowly but surely, I've been growing and my feelings have been growing too. A lot has, actually, like your gold pile. I know I can be quite irregular, moving at a snail's pace and other times galloping ahead, but I'll always be chugging forward - and that's why I'm looking forward to eventually having the chance, the honor, the privilege, of being owned by you Princess Jadah. Thank you for putting up with me thus far, despite me being all over the place and a gigantic complex pain in the meow.

- Adorablecat.