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on July 21, 2016
I didn't want to hijack several posts from various Ladies with My comments and so in a way this blog post today is a combination of answers I would have given. A little bit of just MY Point of View. Remember what I always tell you, it's perfectly ok to disagree with Me on them. They are after all just that. MY Point of View, not something that is set in stone.
Which brings me smoothly to the start of this post.
First of all, if the tribute makes you happy and you are satisfied by it, then it makes not a lick of a difference what another person either Lady or sub says or thinks. It's your Realm, your Rules, your decision. End of Statement.
Also a reminder that the word Tribute denotes a gift or show of financial worship given WITHOUT strings attached to it. So basically the boy or girl gives you this gift with only one purpose in mind, to make you smile, and doesn't expect anything in return for it. If you go by that meaning of the Word and it is indeed a tribute then the amount doesn't make a difference at all. In that case there is no such thing as not enough - pure Tribute!!!
However if a boy assumes and expects to have attention or a session given to him in return for his PAYMENT to you as in let's say a Skype Session or a Webcam Session, then I am sorry but yes there should be some minimum amount EACH LADY SETS that SHE FEELS is adequate for HER TIME. Now the words NOT ENOUGH might come into play, but that is on an individual base. I may require a higher amount to give MY TIME to someone who asks Me what he is getting for it (NOT submission and not a Tribute - Adult Business Fetish transaction) then you do.
A little thought however also goes that if you add the word FINANCIAL before and in conjunction with any Fetish or Domination Session the fees and requirements are usually higher, since yes that is part of it too. Oh and no, not all boys are created equal in the wallet department, so you need to be aware of the boy fits your financial standard base minimum requirements or not. Remember you will be giving him something in return here, it's no longer a tribute. It's a payment for your time and your experience as well as skill sets. HOw much you think those should be at least worth is up to you.
Too much and too demanding are words I hear more from boys then from women, but let me tell you a little something there is no such thing as too much or too demanding. It may feel like too much and too demanding to you because you don't have the financial stability or the ability to obey in the BDSM sense, but there are boys out there for them this is just standard.
I can give you 3 different boys as example and just name them a,b,and c, for privacy reasons.
A is a financial masochist who NEEDS the thrill of hard hitting wallet depletion. For him it isn't fun or arousing until we are in the 1000's. He has a decent job and he is a binge and purge boy. This means when he comes on he isn't dealing with me as the Domme but the SADIST who will mercilessly take and take and take in a hard hitting quick and non-caring fashion until I have every single red penny available for that session. Once he is finished completely and has even been stretched a tiny bit (we do have safe word for that), it ends and I know he will not return for a few months during his recovery period. For him small amounts are a turn off. He feels he is only well used if I am financially abusive to him. Oh and yes he is made to endure CBT and other torments at the same time as well. He is a masochist high on financial, low on pain.
B is a puppy boy who works many many hours a day. On average he works about 14 hours a day and yes he makes good money but he also has a high output financially because of family obligations. Freshly divorced and having to pay out a lot every month to uphold those obligations. He is a casual regular with me. Meaning we are not working into a collar, I won't put him UC, but he returns to Me over and over again as time allows. I always have a ton of fun with that little puppy boy, but my time requirements I have for MY slaves and his availability don't match up. We have a standing agreement with one another that he pays me a monthly tribute of $250 without being told and when both of us have the time available we chat and play a little. That's on average maybe twice a month. I know, because of casual non fetish conversations, that this is the best he can afford, but since he is a lot of fun I am ok with that amount.
C is dismissed now because of something that happened weeks ago and which led up to a mass dismissal in my Queendom. A full purge. However C was in the first stage of collar - training right out of UC. He works as a blue collar worker, about 40 hours a week, is single, no offspring. On average he makes about $520 a week. We spoke for at least 30 minutes a day which is part of MY requirement when I train a boy in. I want daily contact with my pets. In his situation I actually did financial domination and his budget was under My control along with many other areas of his life. At each paycheck I would go over his necessities and bills, did his food menu and shopping list for the week, depending on how well his obedience had been that week either grand or reject one treat for him that week, assigned 10% of what was left over into a savings account for him, and the rest was mine period. Yes we are going TPE financial domination style with BDSM Mistress inclusion.
What I am showing you is that there is no such thing as a set amount that is either too much, not enough, etc but always depends on the people and the budgets plus the overall situation involved. Once you enter into some form of relationship of the D/s or FD/fs type even regular casual you need to know the person you are dealing with and then you set the financial barriers.
I personally have a rule that goes something like that. I will NOT accept someone under a certain amount of financial servitude ability and willingness because of the level of effort and time I put into them, plus it allows them to remain save as well. In many cases we have boys who can hardly afford to live a decent life because they are just starting out on their life path, I just don't feel right becoming one of their obligations and priorities. They need to get settled in and financial stable first. I am looking at the long term rather then the quick buck.
Now let's talk about sacrifice and this is one subject where feathers will be ruffled. I can't help that.
Sacrifice essentially is something that should mean a twinge, a giving up of something for themselves in order to give it to the Goddess, but is should also be something that is not just a throw away gesture.
Example: A boy enjoys a morning coffee at Starbucks and one day decides that instead of buying himself that coffee which costs roughly $5.95 he'll go to his Goddess wishlist and buy her let's say a lipstick instead. Now looking at this he did sacrifice something he wanted for himself in order to give to another. So yes it does count as a sacrifice given. Now let's add the rest about this boy. He has a minimum of $200 a week in play money. Play Money being money that is not essential for his survival needs. That is money he just blows. He has NOT made any further purchases for HER nor has given any further tribute to her. Is it still a sacrifice? NO! Not it's almost in insult. Because those $6.00 don't mean shit to him. Same sacrifice but the boy only has about $75 a week to himself in which he can afford a treat after taking care of necessities. Out of that $75 he made his weekly tribute to his Goddess of $50 already which leaves him with only $25.00 for himself. Now he spends that $6.00 which was for a little treat reward for himself and he sacrifices it for the lipstick? Sacrifice? You bet it was.
Example #2: Two different boys one with an average income level of about $2300 a months after Taxes being taken out and an average monthly total financial output (bills, food, gas for car, survival needs) of roughly $1900 a month. His food budget is a bit high since he loves to go out to eat instead of cook for himself, so we can make a cut there and adjust. His Mistress takes from him $600 one month... Due the math... All he had left over was $400 without having to make any cuts to the way he lives it just simply didn't leave him any extra money over for a month, but she took $200 more. So that had to be cut off somewhere. Won't be the bills, those have to be paid always. The cut is made in the food budget where now instead of going out to eat 4 days a week, he is cooking at home and eating left overs for lunch. That's just living more slave appropriate once in a while since it teaches him to budget instead of wasting money due to laziness. The other $50 however came from money for gas, which caused him to have just enough gas to make it to and from work safely, plus go for a grocery run. No more just driving to every place he felt like instead of walking. There is both a teaching and conditioning as well as a small sacrifice made in it. He is cutting back his luxury in life in order to tribute his Goddess more.
Same "tribute" of $600 a month only this boy makes about $10,000 a month *yes there are guys who make that and much more*. His monthly output is around $5000 since his living is a lot higher and with that type of income you can be assured he has to keep a "status" living as well. That still leaves him with somewhere around $5000 a month. He hands her $600.... Sacrifice? Hell no, that's a tip. He doesn't even feel that amount coming out of his pockets.
Understanding sacrifice is not really as hard as it seems. Sacrifices can come on high levels and on low level amounts. The amounts what make it a sacrifice are in conjunction with the disposable income or play money available and if or what he even had to give up for it. Was it truly a sacrifice or just a "eh I'll give it to her this way and say I had to sacrifice this small thing for her because that makes her feel special" or was it a real "Ouch this hurts to do and now I have to suffer a bit and go without because I really can't just replace it, but she is so worth it!" mindset.
Big amounts, small amounts, sacrifice or no sacrifice. tribute or payments, all of those things are part of our world and to each they are relative in nature.
You may get excited about receiving a $20 payment because to you that is awesome and I will be appreciative for the $20 TRIBUTE but won't even mention it. However I also am looking for different levels of boys. No they don't have to be rich, but I also know what can really be offered realistically and from whom.
Either way so, I am not going to judge you and you really shouldn't judge Me either. WE all are comfortable at different levels. As long as you and the boy are both happy with what you are doing who gives a damn what other people think.
I may not accept what you will, but then I won't be dealing with the boy either. However think about what you brag about as BIG money, because BIG money is in the 100's and 1000's not in the tens. Doesn't mean it can't be a sacrifice when it's less, but use your words wisely.
XOXO
Goddess Bella Donna
Which brings me smoothly to the start of this post.
First of all, if the tribute makes you happy and you are satisfied by it, then it makes not a lick of a difference what another person either Lady or sub says or thinks. It's your Realm, your Rules, your decision. End of Statement.
Also a reminder that the word Tribute denotes a gift or show of financial worship given WITHOUT strings attached to it. So basically the boy or girl gives you this gift with only one purpose in mind, to make you smile, and doesn't expect anything in return for it. If you go by that meaning of the Word and it is indeed a tribute then the amount doesn't make a difference at all. In that case there is no such thing as not enough - pure Tribute!!!
However if a boy assumes and expects to have attention or a session given to him in return for his PAYMENT to you as in let's say a Skype Session or a Webcam Session, then I am sorry but yes there should be some minimum amount EACH LADY SETS that SHE FEELS is adequate for HER TIME. Now the words NOT ENOUGH might come into play, but that is on an individual base. I may require a higher amount to give MY TIME to someone who asks Me what he is getting for it (NOT submission and not a Tribute - Adult Business Fetish transaction) then you do.
A little thought however also goes that if you add the word FINANCIAL before and in conjunction with any Fetish or Domination Session the fees and requirements are usually higher, since yes that is part of it too. Oh and no, not all boys are created equal in the wallet department, so you need to be aware of the boy fits your financial standard base minimum requirements or not. Remember you will be giving him something in return here, it's no longer a tribute. It's a payment for your time and your experience as well as skill sets. HOw much you think those should be at least worth is up to you.
Too much and too demanding are words I hear more from boys then from women, but let me tell you a little something there is no such thing as too much or too demanding. It may feel like too much and too demanding to you because you don't have the financial stability or the ability to obey in the BDSM sense, but there are boys out there for them this is just standard.
I can give you 3 different boys as example and just name them a,b,and c, for privacy reasons.
A is a financial masochist who NEEDS the thrill of hard hitting wallet depletion. For him it isn't fun or arousing until we are in the 1000's. He has a decent job and he is a binge and purge boy. This means when he comes on he isn't dealing with me as the Domme but the SADIST who will mercilessly take and take and take in a hard hitting quick and non-caring fashion until I have every single red penny available for that session. Once he is finished completely and has even been stretched a tiny bit (we do have safe word for that), it ends and I know he will not return for a few months during his recovery period. For him small amounts are a turn off. He feels he is only well used if I am financially abusive to him. Oh and yes he is made to endure CBT and other torments at the same time as well. He is a masochist high on financial, low on pain.
B is a puppy boy who works many many hours a day. On average he works about 14 hours a day and yes he makes good money but he also has a high output financially because of family obligations. Freshly divorced and having to pay out a lot every month to uphold those obligations. He is a casual regular with me. Meaning we are not working into a collar, I won't put him UC, but he returns to Me over and over again as time allows. I always have a ton of fun with that little puppy boy, but my time requirements I have for MY slaves and his availability don't match up. We have a standing agreement with one another that he pays me a monthly tribute of $250 without being told and when both of us have the time available we chat and play a little. That's on average maybe twice a month. I know, because of casual non fetish conversations, that this is the best he can afford, but since he is a lot of fun I am ok with that amount.
C is dismissed now because of something that happened weeks ago and which led up to a mass dismissal in my Queendom. A full purge. However C was in the first stage of collar - training right out of UC. He works as a blue collar worker, about 40 hours a week, is single, no offspring. On average he makes about $520 a week. We spoke for at least 30 minutes a day which is part of MY requirement when I train a boy in. I want daily contact with my pets. In his situation I actually did financial domination and his budget was under My control along with many other areas of his life. At each paycheck I would go over his necessities and bills, did his food menu and shopping list for the week, depending on how well his obedience had been that week either grand or reject one treat for him that week, assigned 10% of what was left over into a savings account for him, and the rest was mine period. Yes we are going TPE financial domination style with BDSM Mistress inclusion.
What I am showing you is that there is no such thing as a set amount that is either too much, not enough, etc but always depends on the people and the budgets plus the overall situation involved. Once you enter into some form of relationship of the D/s or FD/fs type even regular casual you need to know the person you are dealing with and then you set the financial barriers.
I personally have a rule that goes something like that. I will NOT accept someone under a certain amount of financial servitude ability and willingness because of the level of effort and time I put into them, plus it allows them to remain save as well. In many cases we have boys who can hardly afford to live a decent life because they are just starting out on their life path, I just don't feel right becoming one of their obligations and priorities. They need to get settled in and financial stable first. I am looking at the long term rather then the quick buck.
Now let's talk about sacrifice and this is one subject where feathers will be ruffled. I can't help that.
Sacrifice essentially is something that should mean a twinge, a giving up of something for themselves in order to give it to the Goddess, but is should also be something that is not just a throw away gesture.
Example: A boy enjoys a morning coffee at Starbucks and one day decides that instead of buying himself that coffee which costs roughly $5.95 he'll go to his Goddess wishlist and buy her let's say a lipstick instead. Now looking at this he did sacrifice something he wanted for himself in order to give to another. So yes it does count as a sacrifice given. Now let's add the rest about this boy. He has a minimum of $200 a week in play money. Play Money being money that is not essential for his survival needs. That is money he just blows. He has NOT made any further purchases for HER nor has given any further tribute to her. Is it still a sacrifice? NO! Not it's almost in insult. Because those $6.00 don't mean shit to him. Same sacrifice but the boy only has about $75 a week to himself in which he can afford a treat after taking care of necessities. Out of that $75 he made his weekly tribute to his Goddess of $50 already which leaves him with only $25.00 for himself. Now he spends that $6.00 which was for a little treat reward for himself and he sacrifices it for the lipstick? Sacrifice? You bet it was.
Example #2: Two different boys one with an average income level of about $2300 a months after Taxes being taken out and an average monthly total financial output (bills, food, gas for car, survival needs) of roughly $1900 a month. His food budget is a bit high since he loves to go out to eat instead of cook for himself, so we can make a cut there and adjust. His Mistress takes from him $600 one month... Due the math... All he had left over was $400 without having to make any cuts to the way he lives it just simply didn't leave him any extra money over for a month, but she took $200 more. So that had to be cut off somewhere. Won't be the bills, those have to be paid always. The cut is made in the food budget where now instead of going out to eat 4 days a week, he is cooking at home and eating left overs for lunch. That's just living more slave appropriate once in a while since it teaches him to budget instead of wasting money due to laziness. The other $50 however came from money for gas, which caused him to have just enough gas to make it to and from work safely, plus go for a grocery run. No more just driving to every place he felt like instead of walking. There is both a teaching and conditioning as well as a small sacrifice made in it. He is cutting back his luxury in life in order to tribute his Goddess more.
Same "tribute" of $600 a month only this boy makes about $10,000 a month *yes there are guys who make that and much more*. His monthly output is around $5000 since his living is a lot higher and with that type of income you can be assured he has to keep a "status" living as well. That still leaves him with somewhere around $5000 a month. He hands her $600.... Sacrifice? Hell no, that's a tip. He doesn't even feel that amount coming out of his pockets.
Understanding sacrifice is not really as hard as it seems. Sacrifices can come on high levels and on low level amounts. The amounts what make it a sacrifice are in conjunction with the disposable income or play money available and if or what he even had to give up for it. Was it truly a sacrifice or just a "eh I'll give it to her this way and say I had to sacrifice this small thing for her because that makes her feel special" or was it a real "Ouch this hurts to do and now I have to suffer a bit and go without because I really can't just replace it, but she is so worth it!" mindset.
Big amounts, small amounts, sacrifice or no sacrifice. tribute or payments, all of those things are part of our world and to each they are relative in nature.
You may get excited about receiving a $20 payment because to you that is awesome and I will be appreciative for the $20 TRIBUTE but won't even mention it. However I also am looking for different levels of boys. No they don't have to be rich, but I also know what can really be offered realistically and from whom.
Either way so, I am not going to judge you and you really shouldn't judge Me either. WE all are comfortable at different levels. As long as you and the boy are both happy with what you are doing who gives a damn what other people think.
I may not accept what you will, but then I won't be dealing with the boy either. However think about what you brag about as BIG money, because BIG money is in the 100's and 1000's not in the tens. Doesn't mean it can't be a sacrifice when it's less, but use your words wisely.
XOXO
Goddess Bella Donna
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