Dominance is not a 'look' (tips and musings for newer Dommes)

This is a supportive post targeted to women who have insecurities about their body, who may have been tempted to or have used other women's photos, and speaks to the general Domme population, with findom included under the umbrella.

We've all come across catfishes in findom. Most are men, but some are women who are too insecure about their appearance to use their own photos. It's always sad when I find these accounts, because they come from the belief that you have to look a certain way to be a successful Domme. This is NOT true. Dominance is an attitude, an energy. It is 90% mental, and online, even more so. It's easy to look at popular Findoms with hypnotic cleavage and tiny waists and get discouraged, but I urge you not to.

I am very excited to have joined in the general Domme culture when I did (about 2 years ago), because I feel that this generation of women are redefining and expanding the aesthetic of Femdom. In addition to spiked heels, latex and leather dresses, and vampire gloves, I've seen Dommes dressed in rainbows, Lolita fashion (working on developing this style myself!), and even dominant Littles. Giggles now have as much of a place in the community as whips. In addition to styles, there's also far more ranges in body types and appearances. I don't mean to claim that body shaming is dead in the Domme community; far from it, but there has been definite progress.

This being said, most of us would love to have a 'perfect body,' whatever that means to you. Here are some alternatives to help you show that image without using another person's work.

-CONFIDENCE! Cheesy, but no look will work without it.
-Exercise and healthy eating will help tone your muscles, clear your skin, and give you a healthy glow, among other things
-Invest in quality makeup and learn to apply it. You can make DRAMATIC changes in your apparent facial structure with skillful contouring. I have a very round baby face, and when I'm not going for 'cute lil brat,' contouring works wonders. Again, experiment with different looks and styles. Dramatic smokey eye and red lipstick? Glitter and bright purple lips? You do you, and they will come.
-Keep yourself clean. This will help improve your skin, and will make you feel sexier which will show.
-Waist trainers/corsets/girdles and push up bras are miraculous, and don't have to break the bank! One of my trainers was just $17.
-Practice speaking and writing in a style that works with your 'look' that also conveys dominance. I suggest reading up on subliminal messaging.
-Buy other Dommes' clips or schedule a session! This is huge. Try to find women you admire and who have a similar style to yours, and TAKE NOTES. You can also ask them to mentor you or take you on as an apprentice, but this is less common in Findom in comparison to other kinds of ProDomme work.

I hope this helped give you some ideas as well as boost your confidence in your own beauty.

I'd love to hear other people's tips, experiences developing their styles, and anything else.