Knowing what Y/you want can be a good thing

I was thinking a little bit on how much of a time investment having boys under consideration is. Not only because of the effort they have to show goes beyond wallets, but because I obligate Myself to retain information.

Now I know there are many boys out there not looking for long term servitude to just one Superior, yet if they are they will know all too well it is a learning process. Of course everyone has expectations as Domme or submissive should.

Yes, even a submissive has to have standards or more needs rather than wants, and that can be a really murky subject; not everyone has the same definition. The way I see it for a long term D/s or F/m it is a matter of seeing if the Domme’s wants and needs mesh with the subs needs. Don’t get Me wrong I don’t mean to say that every sub should get what it thinks it needs, yet on the other hand there are things as human beings W/we A/all need.

What is a need? Well of course the basics for living a healthy lifestyle. Food, shelter, health expenses, hygiene, and vanilla balance are vital things for a healthy happy submissive. Take one of these away and things will ultimately crumble when looking at long term aspects. I do not encourage fast foods or ramen noodles as alternatives to food, as they do not have the vitamins and such needed for a healthy body. Never will I ever put My wants in financial aspects above a boys obligations to pay for his home, transportation, vehicle, or emergency funding. I also have a strong belief in vanilla always coming first. I will never trash a subs family, as that is just self-degrading to Me to say I need something more than they do.

That being said I do not do sacrifices (harm financially and emotionally a submissive vanilla life). That is far from pleasing to Me. I would rather have proof and even would micro manage to the point that exercise, family time, and work are a healthy mix. The pain I love to see most is the mental aspect of tripping over their own feet while I am trying to better their lives as I better Mine.

A mental connection is rare, but it is out there. I am not going to jump and say it is for everyone, and no person is the same. Safety and communication are a big thing in My eyes and without these the connection cannot thrive. Be it voice chat, journals, text chat, or whatever it is I have found that as a Domme many submissive beings are lost with lack of communication or not having the ability to ask what they feel are important questions. In the beginning it is always going to be a learning process. Now I may not want to answer a ton of questions given the fact it is time consuming, but I do typically like to start with a list of questions Myself to a submissive as it helps Me to understand what it really needs whilst seeing what it wants.

Not all questions asked are even kink related. The fact that kink is only a minor part of a lasting relationship, although I do stand by that if the money is not there just as much as the effort then the walk of shame will be more than enough pain. Not in a humorous humiliation kind of way either.

So if you are safe, level headed, or just want to have fun all I am saying is know yourself as well as the person you are seeking. Otherwise the journey is going to seem all too much like pulling a name from a hat for a brief rush with a possible let down in the future.

I will not Own in a day, I may not Own in a week, but when I do decided to fully Own and accept someone beneath Me they will have shown strength in what I want financially, mentally, and more. I have many desires, but ultimately I do only desire to allow those who are truly aspire and strive to be ambitious for Me to be under My feet.

There are many more things to discuss though, for example: fears, concerns, stability, ect. before a proper contract can be placed. Also it must not only be read, but understood, and if not understood guidance and assistance should be sought.

Never understood the concept of day collars or a quick thrill for a penny, so to each their O/own. Just remember this is Findom and how ever someone chooses to do it there is no right and wrong. There is only an obligation to know what one is seeking in order to get the right outcome.



Have a lovely night and pay a Superior. These Ladies do deserve it!