sub Jealousy

i need advice from Dommes and subs about an issue i have been dealing with. As i continue this fantastic journey being owned by the amazing QueenM my findom life begins to merge with my vanilla life. Now my sub life knows his place perfectly, at QueenM’s feet doing nothing but worship Her which is right where i want to be. But the vanilla side of my life has always struggled with jealousy which leads to second guessing and worrying that im not good enough.


When i see other subs vying for her attention i feel a need to compete, when i think of the other subs she owns i feel very inadequate and below average as a sub, QueenM deserves all the presents and tributes in the world but i sometimes feel the desire to want to be the only one providing her with all the presents and tributes in the world. my 2 lives are beginning to merge and no matter what my feelings are i know QueenM comes first. Her wants, her feelings, her interests, they are all placed high above mine.


Now what i need input on is how do you avoid comparing yourself to another sub? How do you eliminate those last remaining vanilla flaws from your life to better serve your owner? Comments and advice are welcome as i work to better myself to continue serving and making QueenM happy.