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Miss_Alley
by on July 14, 2021
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In both vanilla and kink life, I don't particularly like when someone buys or sends Me something with expectation. Don't gift Me as it relates to you, gift Me because I deserve it and you want Me to have it, whether I acknowledge you or not. It's such a huge turn off to receive something, and then have that joy crushed by a sender who treats that gift as transactional. Fast middle fingers, right there.
When you purchase a session from someone, you can negotiate expectations. Unless you're pretty lucky--and there are always exceptions, if I am so inspired--I'm not a session seller. I play with those I like, when I like, and when they've earned it by being a good sub for Me :)

A bit of advice for those on both sides of the slash!

Financial submissives, you need to know the difference between tributing and purchasing a session. If you are at all confused as to whether a Domme you're dealing with understands your intentions when you are, in fact, trying to purchase a session, COMMUNICATE BEFORE SENDING. This way, if She's not into it, She can say 'thanks but no thanks' and be on Her merry way, no harm no foul. If you're sending to send, that's awesome, We love that, and continue to give freely and selflessly!! But please don't get creepy, demandy, or hint as though you deserve a reward after, because that is a gross manipulation attempt. (Don't try to fly that shit under the radar, either, none of you men are nearly as smooth as you think you are!)

Financial Dominatrices, You also need to know the difference between receiving tribute versus payment for sessions. If You negotiate anything transactional, it's sketchy and not acceptable to not deliver, or try to call that payment a tribute. (Unless you're playing with rip-off fetish, with someone you're familiar with, which is a whole other story). If a sub sends a gift without prior negotiation, and then tries to treat you as though You're indebted to them, You have every right to tell them to fuck riiiiiiiiiight off; You didn't agree to anything, including being pressured or put on the spot. 

Even quick communication can really help you avoid so much BS, including feeling ripped off, resentful, or burnt out. 

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slavekinbaku
That is so totally true! Thank you for that blog MIstress xxx
Like July 15, 2021