Madame Thoughts: Becoming a Domme

Being a Domme is one of the most exciting and fun things I’ve ever done. Since I was 18, I've always had an interest in BDSM but it wasn’t until now that I actually decided to explore it. In my beginning explorations, I heard about findom and was instantly curious. From a very vanilla perspective, findom looked like men just handing money over to pretty girls with nothing expected in return. Super newbie, me was like, “That’s hella dope. I want a piece of that pie.” So I started digging deeper into what findom was and how I could become a financial dominatrix. I very quickly realized that there was far more to it than I had first thought. There were a lot of intricacies when it came to the dynamic between Domme and sub. I wanted to find veteran Dommes to observe, to see how they perceive findom and practice it. So I made an NSFW twitter and looked to see if there was a findom and femdom community. Man, what I found was pure chaos. There was all these girls throwing up the loser sign, spitting, throwing the bird, squeezing their boobs, and insulting something called a “paypig”. I was in awe and confused all at once. “Is this what being a financial dominatrix was? Being a mean girl and telling men to give you their money?” Being the mean girl is just not who I am and it definitely didn’t feel like my Domme style.  When I envision myself as a Domme, I see an elegant parlor with me lounging on a chaise reading a book while a sub sits at my feet waiting to serve me. I also see me as an older woman who is calm cool and collected but is also firm and strict when need be. That’s what I want to be as a Domme. However, I wasn’t sure if I could after seeing findom twitter. It felt like all the subs that I had seen responding or tributing these Dommes enjoyed the whole mean girl attitude.

“Would subs enjoy a more gentle, elegant, and mature Domme style? Is all they wanted is a pretty thin girl teasing them with their tits and asses? Could I cut it as a Domme?” 

I had to sit with myself and ask what I really wanted from being a Domme. I love receiving gifts and money however for me that isn’t enough. I want control. I want subs who want to serve me long term and grow together. I want to see my subs succeed so that they can be in a position to serve me better. When they're sick or stressed out about something all I want is for them to get better. I care about what happens to my subs because I want them to be happy and healthy. So now I’m working on learning and gaining experience so that I can be the best possible Domme I can be. I know I can do it and I can’t wait to get to know more subs and create those new dynamics!

Becoming a Domme has been crazy so far but I know I wouldn’t change it for anything. Besides my journey is just beginning, and I have more fun times ahead!