3rd Month Reflection

I have been wanting to write more regularly on here and I thought this might be a perfect way to kick things off. I wanted to write something as a bit of a reflection on my experience thus far exploring findom.

So I was (and to some degree) still am pretty intimidated overall. I do my best to swallow that fear and use it as motivation to educate myself. To take things slowly and on my terms. Read & research first and act afterwards. I've spent a lot of time just reading & watching the few videos I could on the subject. One of the bits of advice another domme gave was to be yourself. She stressed the need of new dommes to ‘own’ it and not fake being more experienced. I was concerned this may paint a target on me and attract those who wished to exploit me. I think it has attracted a few who thought they could strong arm me into doing what *they* wanted but that simply isn't what this dynamic is about or what I am into. :)

Another aspect of the ‘scene’, that I found surprising is the amount of people looking to cam. I knew verification would probably be required/asked for. I'm ok with sharing a few pictures here and there, on my terms of course. ;) But what I saw that really got me interested in findom was how it was text based. My reasons for why I prefer text based has only grown more with time. First, I wanted to use it as an outlet to play and explore, to take the pressure off myself. I also felt more comfortable and ‘safer’ with text. Beyond that, I find text based to be more interesting and more exciting. The anticipation. The analysis of words chosen. I can read it over and over or just once. It's fun to read something really interesting!

I am grateful for the wealth of information that's out there online about findom. You have to be willing to dig for it but you can find it. I think what I've learned has certainly helped me get to a place I'm happy with for the time being. My aim is to just do this for fun and exploration. I don’t ever intend to ‘go pro’.

I think my biggest obstacle / challenge is conveying my personality and interests. I don’t want to put on a persona. I want to be myself in order to attracts subs who are naturally interested in me and invested in my happiness. However I am trying to balance how much to share and how much time I spend doing so. There are also aspects of myself that I am still figuring out and sorting through in my mind-- especially kink related. I think this part also kind of feeds back into my overall intimidation but again I try to use that feeling to pursue learning. I am sure things will become clearer with time. These are just my thoughts thus far. :)

Overall, I am pleased with my beginning experiences. I have met a lot of really sweet and interesting people so far in my journey. I can be a little shy at first so I am so grateful to those of you who chat with me and make me feel welcome. I can’t stress enough how much I appreciate all the dommes. Everyone I have spoken to, on every platform, has been so generous and helpful. I feel very privileged and welcomed overall. I also feel so lucky and taken care of because I found a sub who aligns so well with my interests and desires. I know it takes time to break into something like this, especially when you are essentially starting at zero. I never thought I would be ‘here’ this early on. I am excited and eager to see where my journey takes me.

As I stated before, this is just a reflection post-- sharing my personal thoughts and feelings as a beginner findom. I welcome anyone to share their feelings in the comments and thanks for reading! ;)