Under Consideration... What Does it mean?

What Does " Under Consideration Mean to me? "

- A Personal Look at MY Definition -

                          Every Domme/Dom has a different View on what it means to put a Sub "Under Consideration". Of course there are many " Basic " or  " Obvious" indications to the phrase: 1. Lets be honest it is a way to mark your territory. Letting other Dominants know that they need to stay away. 2. It is a way to let the submissive know that you, The Dominant, are giving them the chance to impress you and prove that they can serve you to the standards that are condusive to your protocol. and 3. The Basic meaning: You are considering entering into a D/s Relationship. What does this mean to me as a Domme? It means many things. Being 100% Honest when I first started it wasn't something I even understood. I had to do research and figure out what it meant to other Dommes before I could really personalize what it meant to me. That is just the truth. Trial and Error is a big part of being a Financial Dominant. Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is either lying to you or lying to themselves lol. I learned this lesson very quickly. I thought that you just talked to a sub for a week or so and then moved into ownership.... Yeah I know what you are thinking " WTF is she serious?" Yes I am serious, this is just my truth, and I feel like it is most likely the truth for many new Dominants who are just starting out in a Fetish that can be very difficult to navigate. However I learned quickly, as I said. I took on a sub right away, I mean I thought that was normal. This particular Sub was just happy to be owned and take my time without respecting the nature of our relationship. Tributes were to say the least nearly non-existant and the expectations that he had were absolutely ridiculous, I realize this now looking back. I am not saying he was a complete timewaster. Not at all, He was very sweet and realized that his service was truly pathetic to say the least. Needless to say I figured out why the phrase " Under Consideration " was a thing, and an important one at that. So how did it fit into how I wanted to conduct myself as a Dominant in the world of Findom?

              I started by doing my research, as much as I could possibly find. Talking to other lovely people in the world of Findom helped me find my way and figure it out. Little by little I began to put my personal touch on what it means to me. I consider myself a real Domme, I don't do this because I want to make a quick buck.  I do this because I love the lifestyle, I love the openness of the indiviuals who are involved in this BDSM lifestyle. Everything about it appeals to me, I don't NEED the money. Period. I want it, I crave it, it turns me on in ways I can't describe. The power exchange that comes with a nice size tribute is absolutely intoxicating. If you haven't experienced it yet.... Just wait. If it makes you wet, excited, and leaves you Buzzing then you are in the right place. That being said I take the subs that I am considering for long term service very seriously now. They must meet certain criteria for me to be interested. If they meet these non-negotiable standards I have set then I move onto the most important thing. Compatibility... Are we compatible with one another? Do our desires, interests, Likes, Dislikes, and Hard Limits match up well? I don't care if a sub can tribute an insanely large amount of money... If there is no connection there then I won't take them on as a long term consideration. There just isn't a point to it in my opinion. If I don't enjoy talking with someone and interacting with them then I won't do it. My time is precious to me and if I'm bored then I will certainly not consider a sub. That would not only be selfish of me but wrong. They don't deserve to be in a D/s relationship with no connection anymore than I do. Especially when there is likely someone more aligned with there interests out there.

                  That brings me to time.... How long is long enough when being in that "Under Consideration" Time period? Everyone is different and I personally feel that it should depend on the Sub. If they have proven themselves and earned it ( Ownership ) then why not move to that next step? Of course I personally feel that it needs to be at the very least a month long. That is the "Least" amount of time that I feel you should give things.... and that would be for a D/s relationship that is absolutely perfect and the sub truly knows and understands how to serve you. Of course there is another side to this, it is afterall a relationship. Relationships in the vanilla world take time to get to the point of real trust and understanding of one anothers needs and expectations. Right? So why shouldn't a D/s relationship follow some of those same common sense guidlines? My point here is that the longer you are in a relationship the better you know one another. Therefor the longer you make your consideration period the better you will have developed your relationship to move into Ownership. So for me personally I feel the longer the better, if they are loyal to you then taking your time to move into ownership won't be a problem. Take your time. Make them Earn it. Use that time to get to know everything you possibly can about the needs and desires of one another. Figure out what works for your individual relationship. It is an important concept that should be nurtured and taken seriously. I am glad that I learned this lesson early on and took the time to figure out what it means for me. It isn't just a cookie cutter meaning, there isn't just one way to do it. In conclusion to this blog entry and I leave you with this thought... What does it mean to you? Have you really thought about it? Have you been personalizing it to each individual relationship or do you just have set guidelines for each? Which is fine too by the way, if that is what works for you then that is amazing. Stick to it. If not then take a look at how you do a consideration, figure out what makes it personal to you.

             I hope that this post reaches everyone in the community and if nothing else helps you to take a look at your protocol to see if it is exactly how you like it or if there is room to improve. everyone grows in different ways and that evolution of who we are is a beautiful thing. That applies to Dominants and Submissives. So take pride in your journey, Share your mistakes so that others may learn from them, Don't be ashamed of the road that you have walked to get to the point you are at right now. It is an amazing walk that you should take pride in. That is why I am sharing my experience in being well... inexperienced at one time. It might just help another Dominant to find their path without having to make those same silly mistakes that I have made. But if you do make mistakes..... Don't be embarrassed of them. Period. Thank you for taking the time to read this entry. I truly hope it was informative in some ways and motivating in others. Feel free to leave your experiences in the comments, start a conversation and share your personal truth. It just might lift someone else up. To all my Fellow Dommes I love and respect each and every one of you strong, gorgeous, and Dominant Beauties! To the Submissives that serve us well, I appreciate your service and dedication. It doesn't go unnoticed by me and I feel that good subs should be recognized as they are few and far between. So thank you for what you do. Without you Findom wouldn't be the amazing fetish lifestyle that it is. I wish you all an amazing rest of your day! Thank you for reading.              XOXO Miss Dakota