Femdom and Me: A journey of Self-discovery.

At first this may come across as a sob-story, but I promise this is positive.

It might surprise many to hear this, but until a year or so ago, I was a different person entirely.

Shy, retiring and quiet, I went through life as a true wallflower; someone who's worst nightmare was talking to strangers or God forbid talking to strangers alone. I was one of those (for some obscure reason unknown to me) relentlessly bullied children, through all stages of my education and then again at home, so I could never escape it.
For that reason My self esteem had never really been above rock bottom. I never wore makeup or showed off My figure, despite being scouted to be a supermodel at the age of 18. I turned the opportunity down, too frightened and full of self-loathing to pursue it.

Then I met my Alpha. He made me happy, came with Me into the world of BDSM, and helped Me feel a little better about Myself. Sadly, it wasn't enough. I piled on weight, sank into depression and developed severe anxiety issues.

Many will say that My Alpha telling me I'm beautiful should be enough. Unfortunately many know the perils of anxiety & depression; they will find literally any excuse to undercut and shoot down any positivity in your life.
Alpha says you're beautiful? No. He calls You that because he feels obligated to as your Partner. He'd say You looked good in a trash-bag because that's what he has to do.

Complete bullshit, I know, but the mind can be your worst enemy. It knows every way to hurt you the most, and it will exploit that.

Several months ago, something changed. I had dominated My Alpha a lot in private play, and through that We uncovered a fiery, glimmering dominant streak in Me. I was a different person. Confident. Cruel, capricious and greedy. I found I loved it, and it surprised Me how this persona fitted Me like a pair of worn-in, favorite gloves. It was as if My dominant side had been with Me all along, just waiting to show itself. I was deep down a Diva, ready to flip the bird to the world and demand what was rightfully Mine.

So, on a weird whim one day, I pursued it. I emailed a local Mistress, introduced Myself, made My intentions clear and asked Her to consider mentoring Me. My heart raced as I clicked send. Would She simply laugh Me out of the community? Was I being stupid? Every frightened feeling of impending rejection, shyness came back to Me as I naturally overthought it, turning the situation over and over in My head until I'd truly wound Myself up.

Everything stopped when she emailed me back; she'd agreed.
To this day I don't entirely know what made Me do it, take that step, but I will always be grateful that I took the step and did.
I met Her in person, and We've been good friends ever since; we meet up regularly, and she teaches me all about sessioning in-person, as well as the nitty-gritty of the business.

Since starting my life as a Pro & Financial Dominatrix, the change in Me has been utterly remarkable. Chipping away the layers of misery, I am now confident. I walk tall, look everyone square in the eye and take on life without a shred of fear. I'm not scared to wear red, to wear heels, to walk with that hypnotic sway that I know gets Me the attention I now know I deserve.
I am told on a daily basis that I am a Goddess; I am validated and fulfilled in what I do.
I learned how to wear makeup, and am looking after Myself again; I've lost a stone in the last month, and I am getting fitter by the day. My body is a temple, a subject of worship and utter adoration.

It has taken Me a while to realize the truth.

I am Perfection, and I always was.