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Bianca Rayvenne
by on April 1, 2018
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Last night a newer sub came to me and told me that he was depressed and that he was considering suicide. He and I have not been talking very long but I never take threats of suicide lightly no matter the situation.
He told me he was having money problems and that he can't serve me since he knows I won't take him on for free. He then kept telling me how depressed he was but that he wanted to serve me until he figured out his financial problems.

I told him that it's not all about the money for me and that if he wanted to get help for his depression I would gladly try and help him find a Doctor. I told him that suicide is not worth it, that he is not worthless, and that regardless of tributes I don't think that it's a good idea that he serves me until he gets help.
This conversation lasted quite a while. He assured me that he wasn't attention seeking and I told him that I didn't think that he was which is why I really pushed the fact that he should call someone and get some help if he was seriously considering suicide.

He told me that I'm the thing that is keeping him stable and serving me is the only thing keeping him from going through with it. I told him that I cannot be the glue that is holding him together and that I am someone who can add some value to his life but that I cannot be the person responsible for his mental health or for his well being. I told him that while I'm willing to be a friend while he seeks this help, I don't think that any type of bdsm is in his best interests while he is in this state.


This pissed him off. He said that he wasted his last tribute on me. I told him that SSC is a thing because it protects all the parties involved in a d/s relationship and that if he's really this emotionally unstable that it's not safe for us to continue and that he cannot consent if he isn't in the right mindset. Pushing him and degrading him doesn't feel right to me if he's depressed, even if that's his kink. I'm uncomfortable with it and I refused to continue until he got the help that he needed.

Thinking about it all now, I think that maybe he wanted to serve for free and that maybe he was trying to pull my heart strings to get to my empathy but unfortunately for him I ALWAYS take threats of suicide and depression seriously.

I always handle these things the same way. I push them to get help and I won't let them serve me until they get that help. I've since blocked him because he wouldn't stop and he kept telling me there was no way he was getting help because I'm the only thing he needs.

I care very deeply for my subs and I care about their well being. That's why I had to cut him off. It was for his own good. He paid his tributes and he was very respectful but at the mention of suicide and the refusal to get help I couldn't help but take a step back. I can't make him get help but I don't have to enable him either. With the amount of anger he turned on me when I refused to keep letting him serve me until he did get help, I can't help but think that it was a ruse.

What would you ladies have done had you been in my shoes?
How do you think I handled this?
What would you have done differently?