Control

I had the realization a few days ago, while talking to my psychiatrist, that one of the biggest influences on my life and how I feel is control. I grew up in a very strict household where I had little to no control over anything in my life. Instead of turning to the kink world (since I was like 10 lol) I turned to anorexia and depression (not a sob story I promise). For the past 10 or so years of my life I did not realize why I was experiencing such frustration, anger, anxiety, depression, self-loathing, etc. until I came into the cam world. In the cam world on mfc I started realizing how great it felt to finally have control of things, control of my self, control of my life control of others--it felt amazing. I came to findoms not because I am a very confident, dominant, extraverted person but because I see those people, and many people on here, and I want to be able to relate. I have spent most of my life being very shy and quiet, but here I feel I can really come out of my shell. Here I can have control, complete control over someone if I want--and it's amazing.
Forgive me if I am shy at first, it's how I have been for most of my life
Forgive me if I am not immediately cruel and controlling
I want to control you, but I want to understand you as well

I know what bad control feels like.

Since I am a switch I also know what good control feels like--to be powerless before someone can feel so right and so powerful,

I suppose this blog post is to both doms and subs

Please make sure you are exerting or under positive control.
That is my primary goal here is that all my subs are as happy and pleased as I am with any arrangement that is made
If you are my sub, and you are very displeased with an aspect of out relationship PLEASE let me know. It is okay! We can work together to achieve something that makes us both feel amazing.

Okay that is all, I hope at least some of you reading can relate<3